What You Wish For
by strukkfirst
Summary: A quiet, unnoticed Gryffindor, Alex is hopelessly in love with a certain Gryffindor prefect. Now if only he would notice her... * First four chapters adopted from the wonderful sandersonsisters*
1. Chapter 1

****A/N: This story is adopted from the ever amazing sandersonsisters, who graciously allowed me to adopt the first six amazing chapters of her story! *Round of applause* Basically, I will be reposting all of her chapters with some editing, then adding my own at Chapter Seven. Even though this is her work so far, I hope you like it and continue to read! And now, the moment you've all been waiting for:****

Chapter One

You know, when girls talk about the Marauders and which of the famous four they have a crush on (and everyone girl likes at least one, no matter what they say) Remus Lupin's name comes up surprisingly little. I mean, I know it's usually James or Sirius that gets the girls attention, and even Peter has a little fan base of Hufflepuffs, but not Remus.

It was explained to me that a lot of girls _did_like Remus, but very few considered pursuing it. Why do you ask? Easy, because in the six years we've been at Hogwarts, Remus has only dated one girl— even though many have asked him. Girls claim it's just a complete waste of time.

It's really too bad I'm not like most girls. At first, I didn't give Remus a second thought, I was to hung up on the famous Sirius Black.

Then, one day in my forth year, I tripped in the hallway, my books skid across the floor, and I landed on all four. Hard. Everyone laughed. I looked up and saw a group of Slytherins, Hufflepuffs, and two Ravenclaws. All laughing. Then I saw the Marauders. James, Sirius, and Peter were howling. But not Remus. He just bent down and helped me retrieve my books, then handed them to me with a small smile.

That was the day I said goodbye to Sirius, and hello to Remus.

Too bad that was the last time he ever noticed me.

Our house, Gryffindor, is split into two groups. Those groups are the Marauders, and then everyone that hangs around Lily Evans. Then there's me. I don't talk to anyone. Truthfully, I don't think anyone knew my name. I was just…there.

And now its seventh year. And, as always, I'm sitting in compartment by myself on the train. I was always by myself. I inhaled as the train started moving, pulling out of the station. This was it. The last time leaving the station.

I jumped as the compartment door slid open. I looked up into the hazel eyes of James Potter. "Do you mind if we sit here?" He questioned. "Everywhere else is full."

"Go ahead." I said, sounding completely calm. Inside, I was grinning like mad, but I leaned my head against the cold compartment window as an attempt to feign indifference.

"Found one!" James yelled behind him, pulling his trunk fully inside.

A minute later, Sirius came barging in, his grey eyes quickly scanning my over. Then he grabbed his trunk and stored in overhead. Peter was next, looking at me and blushing. Then Remus walked in. My eyes drank in his sandy brown hair, his lightly scarred face, and his fit body. Then I turned my head away quickly. I didn't want him to think I was watching him or something…

James and Sirius sat across from each other by the door and Peter sat across from me. Remus ended up sitting between me and James. Oh, be still my heart….

We all sat in awkward silence for awhile. I was desperately trying to think of something to say. I came up with nothing.

Finally, Sirius broke the silence. "Prongs, aren't you Head Boy?"

James looked confused. "Yeah…?"

"Shouldn't you be at the meeting?"

Silence ensued. Then, "Oh hell!" And James went flying into the hall.

The remaining Marauders chuckled, then Sirius turned his gaze on me. "So, what's your name?"

Inwardly, I cringed. "Alexa, Alex."

"What house are you in, Alex?" Sirius continued his questioning.

"The same as you."

Silence again. All three of the Marauders exchanged a look. "What year?" Remus asked finally.

I sighed and he winced.

"Ours huh?"

I nodded.

"Sorry," he muttered.

I shrugged. "Why haven't we seen you before?" Peter asked.

Remus rolled his eyes. "Way to go Pete."

Peter blushed and looked down at his lap. I answered him anyway. "Nobody notices me. Most of the girls don't even know my name and share a room with them."

Awkward silence. Then… "Well, we'll be your friends!" Sirius said, bouncing up and down like a four year old.

I raised my eyebrows.

"I'm serious!" he said, then winced. "Bad joke."

I rolled my eyes, then noticed Remus doing the same thing. Sirius frowned at both of us. "Oh, come on! We're good friends!" he whined.

"I bet you are," I said, rolling my eyes again. I really need to work on that…. "But you are—" I broke off.

"Are what?" Sirius questioned.

I shook my head, then glanced quickly at Remus. Sirius caught the look. He smirked at me knowingly and I instantly felt sick to my stomach. "Moony, tell Alex we'd be good friends."

"I'm not going to force her to talk to us Padfoot." Remus countered, then turned to me. "Though we would be good friends and you're more than welcome to hang out with us whenever you wish."

I swallowed hard, then nodded. Sirius had the knowing grin on his face again and I scowled at him. The grin just got bigger.

Remus smiled at me. "Good then." He glanced down at his watch. "We'd better change." He grabbed his robes and headed out the door, Peter following him.

Sirius stood and sat next to me, throwing his arm around my shoulder. "So how long have you liked Remus?"

I looked away. "I don't know what you're talking about."

Sirius let out a bark-like laugh. "Oh, don't try to hide it love. When it comes to this, I'm always right."

I swallowed hard. "Sirius—"

"I won't say a thing." He grinned. "And trust me, Remus won't notice. He's a little oblivious to this type of thing." He looked out the window and stood. "Better change." And he was gone.

*What You Wish For*

They came back a few minutes later, luckily I had changed quickly. James was with them and he had the same smirk on his face that Sirius had. I glared. He laughed.

"Why do I feel like I'm being kept out of something?" Remus asked, shaking his head slightly and pulling his trunk down as the train came to a stop.

"Because you always are mate," Sirius said, playfully punching him in the shoulder. "Alex is going to ride in the carraige with us!"

I raised my eyebrows. "I am?"

"Of course you are!" James answered for his best friend, throwing his arm around my shoulder. "Might as well start with the best friends thing now."

Remus rolled his eyes. "James, I went over this with Sirius already. You can't force her to do anything. It's up to her."

"But she wants to sit with us!" James protested to his friend. "Right?" He said turning to me and giving me a puppy face.

I couldn't help but laugh, though a little softly. "Fine."

"Yay!" Sirius beamed at me and James smirked muttering something about it working every time.

They pulled me out of the train and into the carriage, somehow managing to get Remus and me next to each other. My entire left side was pressed against him and he cleared his throat and put his arm around the back of the seat to give us more room. Though all it did was insure that my left side was now pressed even closer against his chest. Sigh. I mean…uh…not sigh or something…

"So this summer—" Sirius started, telling some story about something that happened when he was at James house. James intervened every few moments to add in more details, and Peter was hanging on ever word. I laughed when I felt I was supposed to, but truthfully I was too focused on the body pressed against mine to listen. Remus didn't seem to be paying enough attention either because after the first story James and Sirius just exchanged a smirk and started talking softly to each other and Peter tried to listen in.

Finally, we made it to the castle and we all got out of the carriage. I thought this was the end of my time with the Marauders, seeing as whenever the boys were in the great hall to eat it was like a race to see who could have the privilege of sitting beside them. I never had.

But much to my surprise, Sirius pulled me to the bench and pushed me down in between him and Remus. A hush fell over the Gryffindors as they stared at this spectacle. I blushed and looked down at my plate as the whispering started.

"Don't we know her—"

"Who is _she_—"

"Which one is she dating—"

"Remus or Sirius?"

"Just ignore them," Remus told me softly as he noticed my fingers twisting together. "They thrive on gossip…especially about these two." He motioned to James and Sirius who just laughed.

"Well, why wouldn't they?" Sirius asked, shrugging his shoulders. "We are great."

Remus shook his head. "Only in your mind."

Sirius pouted and then the sorting ceremony began. Once again, I didn't pay much attention. Dumbledore gave his speech and then, finally, we got food.

"So, any siblings, Alex?" James asked as he stuffed food into his mouth. It was kind of revolting actually…

I nodded. "Younger sister. She's in Ravenclaw actually." I said, motioning to the blonde at the end of the table.

They all turned to look and Sirius started choking on his food. "Ex-girlfriend Sirius?" Remus asked wryly, handing him a glass of water.

Sirius drank the water gratefully, then turned to me. "Uh…"

I laughed softly once again. "I know you dated her for like two weeks. Trust me, I heard all about it."

James and Remus laughed and Sirius sent me an amused smirk. "So you're the big sister that she always talked about."

I shrugged. "I'm the only one she has, so I guess so."

Lily appeared behind James, glaring down at him. "Potter, we need to go."

He smiled brightly. "Ah, Lily! Of course we shall go, my dear. But first, have you met Alex?"

Lily looked at me and frowned slightly. "Uh…"

I rolled my eyes. "We've shared a room for the last six years."

Lily blushed brightly. "Oh! I'm sorry—"

"It's fine." I cut her off, looking back down at my plate.

I heard James and Lily walk away and looked up to see the three boys staring at me. "What?"

"You weren't kidding, were you?" Sirius said in amazement.

I shrugged. "No."

"Well." He said, sighing deeply. "I guess that means you're my new project!"

I looked at him a moment, then looked at Remus. "What is he talking about?"

Remus looked about as weary as I felt. "I'm not sure. What do you mean Padfoot?"

Sirius sighed. "Don't you see Moony? Our project this semester is to get everyone to notice our little Alex here! It'll be fun!"

I stared at him in amazement. "Yeah, fun. That's the word I'd use."

****A/N: Thanks to everyone who read! I love you all (and I'm sure sandersonsisters does too, haha)! Keep reading (pretty please!) because I'm really excited to get on with my portion of the story, though hers definitely deserves the due appreciation!****


	2. Chapter 2

Chapter Two

When I walked into the great hall the next morning, I took my usual seat at the end of the table, away from everyone. I had just got myself a bowl of cereal when someone grabbed it from my hand. "Hey!" I said, looking up quickly.

Sirius looked down at me with an annoyed expression on his face. "What are you doing? We sit over there." I looked to where he was pointing and saw the rest of the Marauders. Peter was watching us with his mouth hanging open, James was smirking (again), and Remus was frowning, shaking his head slightly.

"Do I have to?"

"Yes," Sirius snapped, grabbing my arm and pulling me over to the Marauders, then pushing me into the same seat I had been in the night before. "She's here!" Sirius said happily, finally giving my food back.

"Sorry about him," Remus muttered as Sirius began talking with James. "He gets a little…enthusiastic."

I rolled my eyes. "Is that the word you're using?"

Remus smiled at me. Who knew he had a crooked smile? You know, the type that one side pulled up a little more that the other. "Yes, it certainly is the word I'm going to use."

"Fine," I huffed. He laughed and Sirius and James stopped talking and looked over at us.

"Look, James!" Sirius gasped. "They're bonding!"

Remus blushed slightly. "Shut up Sirius," he muttered.

Both boys laughed. "Ah! Moony's embarrassed!" James said in a sing-song voice.

"No, I'm not!" Remus shot back quickly, causing both of the boys to start howling once again.

"Alex?" a voice questioned.

I winced and turned around. There stood Chris Leach, my ex-boyfriend. Yes, I had a boyfriend. You didn't think I was a complete loser did you? Chris was in Hufflepuff, and he had been the only one who really bothered to talk to me. We were actually best friends up until we started dating last year. We dated for about four months, then he dumped me for some girl in his own house. We haven't spoken since.

"Chris," I acknowledged coolly.

He blinked. "Oh, so that's how it is now?"

"What are you talking about? You haven't talked to me since you dumped me eight months ago!"

The Marauders faces instantly changed. Well, three of their faces did. Peter just continued to eat. James scowled at the boy; Remus stared, eyebrows raised; and Sirius let out a noise that sound suspiciously like a growl.

"Come on Alex," Chris said quickly, glancing at the boys fearfully. "Anna and I broke up—"

"Wait, Anna Tomlinson?" Sirius bust in. I nodded and he started laughing. "I slept with her like a month ago. So you must be the boyfriend that—"

Remus groaned and James hit his best friend in the back of the head before burying his own face in his hands. Chris stared at him. "That was you?"

Sirius smirked. "That it was."

"Well," Chris said furiously. "First Anna, and now Alex. Good to know you're going after my leftovers, Black."

There was a moment of silence, and then Sirius, James, and Remus all had their wands out, pointed straight at Chris. "Don't you ever—" Sirius began.

"Guys calm down," I stepped in quickly. "Just leave it alone."

Slowly, they did as I asked. Remus was the first to lower his wand, then James, and finally Sirius. Chris glared at me. "What, you shagged all three of them?"

The words were barely out of his mouth when he was sent flying back, straight into a group of Slytherins who weren't very happy to have their meal interrupted. We all looked at Remus who was sheepishly placing his wand back in his pocket. "Moony?" Sirius gasped.

"Oops." Remus shrugged, returning back to his meal. After a moment, we all followed his lead, though I did catch Sirius and James giving each other those weird looks yet again.

After a few moments, we all started to notice the looks people were throwing me, and the whispered conversations. "Well," Remus stated wryly, "that was certainly one way of getting you noticed."

*What You Wish For*

"I can't believe you and Moony have every class together!" Sirius whined. "It isn't fair!"

"Not every class," Remus sighed. "I have Ancient Ruins while she has Divination."

Sirius made a face at me. "Why did you take Divination?"

I made the same face back. "Why _didn't_ you?"

"I have Divination," James declared, glancing over at a certain redhead, cough-LilyEvans-cough. She just rolled her eyes.

"Yeah, but not because you like it," Remus muttered, causing me to giggle and James to glare.

Sirius laughed and ignored the outraged look his best friend gave him. "He has a point mate. You always complained about it almost as much as I did."

"I did not!"

"Did so!"

"Did not!"

"Did so!"

"Let's get out of here," Remus muttered to me, grabbing my arm, ah sigh, and pulling me away from his idiot friends. "They act like they're four," he said to me as soon as we turned down the hallway towards Potions.

I just laughed. "They're funny though."

Remus gave that smile and my heart felt like it was threatening to jump out of my chest. "Yeah, I'll agree with you on that, though it doesn't make them anymore mature."

I stuck my tongue out playfully. "And am I mature?"

He looked at me, amused. "You were until about two seconds ago."

I put a fake outraged face on. "How dare you!"

He laughed then his eyes rested on my face and a small smile hovered on his lips. "Why aren't you always like this?"

I frowned and tilted my head to the side. "What do you mean?"

He shrugged and we took seats next to each other in class. "I mean, you can't always be this hyper and joking around all the time. If you were, you would…well… have more friends than you do." He looked at me apologetically. I just shrugged. "And we would have noticed you a lot sooner. Feels like time has been wasted, for some crazy reason."

I blushed and titled my head so my shoulder length brown hair blocked him from my view. It didn't last. A pale, scarred hand came up and softly brushed it back behind my ear. I looked up and saw that he was smiling slightly.

"No need to be embarrassed."

I bit my lip, then gave a small smile. He smiled back and we just sat like that, smiling at each other for what felt like an hour. Finally, I cleared my throat and answered him. "This is…how I am when I feel comfortable enough to be myself," I answered truthfully, softly. "I'm like this with my family, and I used to be like this with…Chris."

Remus winced, but smiled softly at me once again not a second later. "Well, I'm glad you like us enough to be yourself."

I blushed again. He chuckled softly then looked to the front of the class as Professor Slughorn walked in. He instantly started in on a lecture, one I didn't follow as I was busy thinking about other things…namely the boy next to me.

Finally, Remus waved a hand in front of my face. I jumped, then looked at him, confused. He had that look on his face, the one where he was trying not to smile and failing. "Come on. Class is over."

"Oops." I chuckled as I reached for my books. We started walking out of class and he handed me a piece of parchment. "What's this?"

"The notes you just missed while you were daydreaming." He smirked.

I blushed _(how did he make me do that?),_ and smiled back at him. "Thank you."

He nodded. "Let's just see if you can stay awake in Herbology."

*What You Wish For*

"Yes! School is done with!" Sirius said, falling back beside me on the couch. The common room was surprisingly empty—I figured most people were out enjoying the last few hours of warmth and sunlight before attempting to tackle any homework.

Remus rolled his eyes. "One day down, how many to go?"

Sirius glared. "Way to ruin the moment, Moony."

James smirked at his friends and looked at me. "And how was your first day?"

I shrugged. "Like any other first day."

Sirius grinned at me in a way that I instantly knew he was going to say something embarrassing. "Even with Moony by your side the entire time? That didn't make things a little more exciting?"

I blushed and my curtain of hair fell in front of my face once again. I heard an "OW!" from Sirius and a chuckle from James. I looked up to see Sirius rubbing his arm and glaring at Remus. "What's gotten into you today? First you hit that Hufflepuff with a spell, then you punch me, and all for—" He broke off suddenly and then looked over at me. "Alex, would you excuse us please?" He didn't wait for an answer, just grabbed Remus and ran up the boys' staircase.

James stared after them and I stared at him. He looked away and caught me staring. "What?"

"Aren't you going to go with them?"

He shook his head. "Nah. I already know what Sirius is going to say and I know what Remus will say in return. No use moving."

"What will Sirius say? And what will Remus say?" I asked, curious.

He smiled at me. "What Sirius is saying is no concern of yours, at the moment anyway. And Remus—" He broke off.

"And Remus?" I prodded.

James just chuckled. "Remus will say the exact opposite of what Sirius wants to hear."

***A/N: This seemed like a good place to leave this chapter. Everyone send a big "THANK YOU!" to sandersonsisters! And I apologize: part of my last author's note seems to be incorrect. I've been doubling up chapters from sadersonsisters, so my own chapters will be entering the scene earlier—maybe around Chapter Five. Thanks for reading, guys!****


	3. Chapter 3

Chapter Three

The next few days flew by. I got used to my new "status" as Sirius called it. And no, in case you're wondering, I never found out what Sirius and Remus talked about.

"Who's that?" I whispered to James as I stared at Remus and a girl. She was flirting— well, she was throwing herself at him, and for once Remus didn't seem to be pulling away. Instead, he was giving her that small smile. That one he always gave me. My smile.

James followed my gaze. "Veronica Bailey. Ravenclaw. She's liked Remus forever…kind of like you. Though, she shows it a little more."

I watched as she leaned so close that her breasts brushed Remus's chest. "A little," I snapped.

He winced slightly. "Yeah, I don't know what he's doing. Usually, he just pulls away or something."

It was then that Sirius decided to grace us with his presence, his arm slung around a pretty girl with blonde hair and big blue eyes. "What are we talking about?" he asked, following our gazes.

When his eyes rested on the scene, his arm fell from off the blonde girl, who pouted in protest, and came up to hug me close to him. "Just ignore it. He always tells us how much she annoys him. It doesn't mean anything."

I shrugged, but it was obvious I was still upset. Sirius just sighed and looked at James. James frowned. "Come one Alex. He can't possibly be interested in her. She's such a ditz—"

"Hey!" Sirius's new girl protested. "That's my best friend!"

We all looked at her in surprise. I had forgotten she was there, and I think both boys had also. "Oh." James said stupidly.

Sirius glanced at me quickly, then once again threw his arm around the blonde, this time leading her away from us. "Oh, that's going to be good," I muttered, tugging at a piece of my hair. "Now she'll tell Veronica and she'll tell Remus—"

"No she won't," James said seriously. "Nothing will happen. I promise."

I met his gaze, then nodded once. I trusted James. I knew that he really did care about all of his friends and would do anything to help. "Evans doesn't know how good she has it."

James looked at me in surprise. "Thanks."

I shrugged. "It's the truth."

James smiled and pulled me in for a quick hug. "Neither does Remus," he whispered.

I laughed and pulled away from him, only to find Remus himself standing there, a strange look on his face. "What are you two doing?"

James shook his head in warning to his friend. "Nothing Moony. Just talking about Evans."

Remus visibly relaxed and then smiled. "That was interesting," he said, motioning to the girl who was still staring at him down the hall.

James smirked. "Still trying to get you, I see."

Remus frowned at his friend. "James—"

James shook his head. "No mate, I think you're right. You don't need to get involved with someone like her," he said. He winked at me when Remus wasn't looking. I smiled back.

Remus scowled. "You and Sirius have been trying to get me to ask her out for years, and now all of the sudden you don't want me to?"

James just smiled. "I think there's someone else other there for you Moony. Someone really…close." He looked at me.

"Close?" Remus questioned. He glanced at me, the question written on his face.

I raised my eyebrows. "I have no idea what he's talking about." I lied through a barely concealed smile.

Remus frowned at me. "You know, you really are a horrible liar."

"I am not!" I protested.

He smirked. "Right. So what is this one talking about?" He motioned to James.

"Nothing!"

"Sure," Remus muttered with a smirk. "Well, come on then. Let's get to class. And try not to fall asleep today."

I scowled. "But—"

"Nope. Stay awake," Remus instructed. We didn't even say goodbye to James as we made our way down the corridor.

"I don't want to!" I whined. "It's boring!"

"And I get even more bored when you aren't awake to keep me entertained," Remus pointed out.

I frowned. "I hadn't thought about that," I said finally.

"Exactly," Remus muttered. "So no sleeping."

That proved to be extremely difficult. Remus kept poking me in the side and raising his eyebrows whenever I looked at him. I just smiled in response, then put my head back down on the table. This continued throughout the entire class period.

"Did you have to do that?" I demanded as soon as we walked out.

Remus just smirked. "I told you, no sleeping."

"Jerk," I muttered.

He stopped and mocked glared at me. "Excuse me? Did you just call me a jerk?"

"Yes I did," I stated, glaring back just as falsely. "What are you going to do about it?"


	4. Chapter 4

Chapter Four

"What am I going to do about it?" Remus asked, a smirk on his face and a dangerous glint in his eye.

He leaned forward, close to me. I swallowed hard, my eyes locked onto his. Was he going to…?

His hands shot out, tickling me. I started laughing uncontrollably, trying to pull away. He followed me, "You going to stay awake next class?"

I continued laughing, backing up even more. But then I hit a wall— nowhere else to go. "I—" I started, then gasped. "Remus! Stop!" I said through my hysterics.

He continued tickling me, a huge smile on his face. "Tell me you're going to stay awake."

"I— awake!" I gasped.

"Promise?"

I nodded, trying to stop laughing. He suddenly stopped, pulling away from me. I stopped laughing, trying to catch my breath. Then I glared at him, still leaning against the wall. "That was mean."

He smiled at me. "But now you're going to stay awake."

I continued to glare, but stopped, suddenly realizing how close we were to each other. I was against the wall, and Remus had moved his hands from my side when he stopped tickling me, but instead placed them on the wall behind me, one on either side of my head. He was leaning forward slightly, his body mere inches from my own.

He also noticed how close we were, and pulled back, clearing his throat. "We'd better get to class," he muttered. I didn't mention the blush staining his cheeks, since I was almost positive I had one on my own.

"Right, class," I muttered, pushing myself away from the wall.

"Just what were you two doing?" an amused voice asked from behind me. A familiar, amused voice. My back straightened, and I saw Remus wince slightly, but we both turned around to face an amused James. Sirius was right behind him, a huge smirk on his face.

"Uh…talking?" I asked, though my voice didn't sound convincing in the slightest.

"Didn't look like there was much talking," Sirius said, winking at us. "Something else you want to try?"

"Leave us alone," Remus said, shaking his head. "We need to get to class."

"A class we're all in," James pointed out, starting to move down the hallway. "That gives us plenty time to talk."

"Yay," I said sarcastically.

Remus sent me an amused smile, while Sirius threw his arm around my shoulder. "Come on, love. What's going on?"

"Nothing's going on," Remus interjected, rolling his eyes at his friend. Then he frowned at Sirius's arm around my shoulders, before reaching over and nudging it off.

Sirius raised his eyebrows. "Right, nothing."

Remus blushed once again, then walked into the classroom, not saying another word. James and Sirius both smirked, looking at me. I ignored him, quickly going to the seat beside Remus. "Sorry about them," he muttered, glaring at his friends.

I shrugged, feeling my heart start to pound. "I don't mind."

Remus turned his eyes on me. "Listen, I wanted to talk to you—"

"Today," Professor McGonagall said, walking into the room. I groaned inwardly. He was just about to say something to me!

I sat through class, anxious to get out of there. As soon as the class ended, I stood, gathering my things. Sirius and James made their way over to us. "So, you two talk things through yet?"

I frowned at James. 'What are you talking about?"

"Nothing," Sirius said, seeing the look on my face.

"Nothing?" James questioned, looking confused. "But what about—"

"I think we should go eat," Sirius said, cutting his best friend off. He grabbed his arm and headed out of the classroom. "I'm hungry."

The two made their way out of the classroom and I turned to Remus. "What was that about?"

Remus shifted uneasily. "Well, James and I were talking last night and we thought it would be a good idea for me to just tell you—"

"Remus!" Both of us turned, then saw that girl, Emma, the one from earlier. She ran over, smiling and pressing against him as she wrapped her arms around his waist. "I wanted to talk to you! I found out that Hogsmeade is this next weekend! Do you want to go with me?"

"Uh—" Remus stuttered, his eyes looking over her head to land on me.

I tried not to show my annoyance. I just shrugged.

"I already have a date," Remus told her, gently pushing her away from him.

She stared up at him, her big blue eyes wide with shock. "What? Who? You never go to Hogsmeade with anyone except the guys!"

"I'm going with Alex." I blinked, suddenly on alert. Oh, using me to get away from her, huh?

Well…okay then. I'll take what I can get.

Emma instantly turned to me, her face cold. "I thought you were with Sirius."

I scowled and looked up in frustration. "Why does everyone keep saying that?"

"No." Remus said, looking amused. "She's—"

"I'm with him," I said with a smirk, cutting him off and looping my arm through his. Might as well get her off of his back for awhile. If she thought we were dating, that was one way to do it. Plus, it wouldn't really bother me any.

Emma glared at me for a moment, glanced at Remus, then turned and walked out of the door in a huff. Remus and I looked at each other, then started laughing.

"Thanks," Remus said after he stopped laughing.

"No problem." I said, smiling. "Ready to go eat now?"

Remus hesitated, but then nodded. "Sure."

I smiled at him, then we headed down the hallway. "Oh! What did you want to talk about?" I asked as soon as we reached the Great Hall.

"Uh, we can talk about it later," he told me, not meeting my gaze and looking uncomfortable.

I frowned, but shrugged. "Alright."

I smiled at him brightly. This really was a good day— I mean, I had been with Remus all day. We had joked around. Let's see— Emma thought we were dating. So now she would leave him alone. Things were working out great.

"So," James said, as we sat down in our usual seats. He looked at us, a huge smile on his face. Sirius was smirking. And Peter— well, I had no idea where Peter was. Huh. "Whats going on? You two together?"

I frowned, though I felt Remus stiffen. I glanced at him, seeing the panicked look he was sending James.

"What are you talking about?" I asked yet again.

"Did you two tell each other that you like each other yet?" Sirius asked plainly.

I froze. He didn't just say— he couldn't have meant—

"Thanks, Sirius," Remus snapped. "I hadn't even got that— wait, did you say like _each other_?"

****A/N: I'm so sorry for not updating sooner! I've been working on my story for the Hunger Games Creative Writing Contest (AHHHHH) and didn't want to post this chapter until I had the next few done! Sorry! I'm a crappy person! But ahhh, I absolutely love sandersonsisters for leaving me in this most ideal position. Next chapter will be all mine! I only hope that I can live up to the high standards she's set for me… Wish me luck!****


	5. Chapter 5

Chapter Five

"Yes, Moony, I do believe that's exactly what I said," Sirius smirked. I gaped at him in shock, my mouth opening and closing without words coming out. Remus seemed to be having a similar reaction, though I doubt he looked as strange.

"Well, I'm glad we cleared this up," Sirius said, standing like he's about to leave. "We'll just leave you two to it, then. Come on, Prongsie." And at that, Sirius grabbed James, who had just stuffed a rather large amount of chicken into his mouth, and marched out of the hall, dragging poor James behind him.

Remus coughed awkwardly. "I'm sorry—" he started.

"I didn't—" I began at the same time. We both chuckled rather nervously. "Sorry, you go first," I prompted, glancing at my plate.

"Er, alright, uh," he said before clearing his throat and beginning again. "I'm sorry about them, you know, being immature and all."

"Remus," I smiled lightly and glanced at him with a look that said 'we both know that's not the real topic of conversation here.'

"Er, right." He ran a hand through his sandy hair. "I just—" he began again. "I just didn't know you… uh… felt like that?" The way he said it sounded like a question, like he didn't quite believe Sirius yet. " Like when you said you'd go to Hogsmeade with me, I figured you were just covering for me," he recovered, talking quickly.

I laughed at him, then clear my throat and became serious again. "I was covering, I just… didn't mind, I guess."

He chuckled, too, and said, "Yea, I guess I didn't mind either." We both turn back to our plates in silence. After a few minutes, Remus tried talking again. "So does this mean that you'd want to go—"

"Yes," I cut him off before he finished the sentence.

"Okay," he said with that crooked smile of his.

A few more minutes passed before either of us attempted speech again.

"We should probably bring some food to James and Sirius. They didn't exactly get to eat much," I said.

Remus raised his eyebrows at me and attempted to say something, stopped, and began anew. "Maybe just something little. Something tells me they've found food elsewhere," he smirked. We piled food, and by that I mean mostly desserts, on a plate and walked up to the common room together.

"Food!" Sirius cried, charging at me as soon as he saw me walk through the portrait hole, plate in hands.

"Padfoot, I thought you'd have gone to the kitchens," Remus said incredulously.

"I did," Sirius said as he paused from inhaling the food off the plate, took it from my hands, and plopped down on a couch, where he resumed eating.

"And?" Remus asked, somewhere between being amused and disgusted.

"Still hungry."

"Well that much is obvious," I laughed. "And how exactly does one get to the kitchens anyway? Isn't it hidden from students?" I asked, interested. What girl doesn't love food at any time of day or night?

If Sirius's mouth hadn't been crammed full of food, it would have dropped to the floor. He swallowed hard and stared at me for a moment, finally shaking his head. "You have much to learn, dear Alex."

I laughed lightly, then turned toward the stairs to the girls' dormitories. "I'm going to head up, guys. I guess I'll see you tomorrow."

"But Alex," Sirius whined, "it's still early!"

"I have homework, Sirius," I said plainly.

His eyes lit up and an evil grin crossed his face. "Remus will help you! You guys have every class together! It'll be perfect!"

"That's okay…" I said, gesturing to the stairs. "I'll just… go, it's fine. Remus doesn't need to help me."

"Yes he does," Sirius said, grabbing my arm and attempting to pull me over to the couch. I tried to wriggle free, wrench my arm away, and I even tried just leaning my full weight against him, but to no avail. He easily dragged me to the couch and sat me down on it. "Stay," he said, pulling his wand from his pocket and pointing it at me. "Moony," he called, spinning around and grabbing a snickering Remus by the shoulders, moving him until he willingly sat down next to me. "There," Sirius said, clearly satisfied. "Now you can do homework together."

"Sirius," I said with a glare. "Neither of us have any books."

"That's what magic's for, silly!" he cried. "_Accio!"_ Spell books came flying down both staircases, Sirius catching them easily and tossing them on the coffee table at our knees. He turned to face us too early, though, and the final book whacked him in the head. "Ow!"

"You deserved that," I said with a poorly hidden smile.

"Maybe," he shrugged. "Have fun 'studying!'" he made air quotes before he turned and ran up the boys' staircase.

"You can go up to bed, if you want," I told Remus. "I might just stay—all my books are here anyways."

"Mine are too, and I don't mind. We can help each other." He smiled his lopsided grin again.

"Okay," I agreed, and we both set to work.

****A/N: I know I've been a crappy person. I'm sorry. Don't hate me, please. Or well, hate me, just not the story. PLEASE DON'T HATE THE STORY! I'M SORRY FOR NOT UPDATING! I don't even have a valid excuse, except for the fact that crew started up, and all you rowers out there know exactly how hard that is. Anyways, THIS IS MY FIRST ONE! Yes, yes, it's my baby. I love it, and if you did too, well, by now you know what to do. Feedback is welcomed, and if there's something specific you want to see happen in the next chapter, don't be shy! Express thy self! I would very much like to hear what you guys would like to see happen, because next chapter will be more of just general direction pointing. Anyways, rather than give the whole story away, I'll just leave you here—with my love of course, and the prospects of a relatively speedy update—and hope for the best!****


	6. Chapter 6

Chapter Six

"So how was 'studying' last night?" Sirius chimed as I walked into the Great Hall for breakfast, once again making air quotes around "studying."

"Will you stop with the air quotes? I'll have you know that we sat in silence for the majority of the time," I snapped, plopping down in a seat and pouring myself some pumpkin juice.

"Right," he said with a smirk, indicating he didn't quite believe me. "I get it."

"Get what?" I asked, my confusion coupling with annoyance.

"You're not one of those 'kiss and tell' kind of girls." I shot him a dirty look, causing his hands to fly up in mock surrender. "Fine by me—it's your choice!" he exclaimed.

"Sirius," I sighed. "I'm not telling because there's nothing to tell! Nothing happened! So just—"

"G'morning to you, too," Remus said as he sat down, an amused grin playing across his face. I flushed crimson; how much of that had he heard?

"Erm, hi," I managed to get out before focusing my gaze downward and pretending that the eggs in front of me were the most important things in the world. Suddenly the doors to the hall burst open, and James Potter stood in the threshold, looking more disheveled than usual. I vaguely noted Peter peering in through the doorway as well.

"Padfoot!" James yelled from across the hall. "Come on!" He waved his arm in a frantic motion, and Sirius leapt up and sauntered over to his friend's side. The two ran out of the hall, snickering the whole way.

"What in Merlin's name was that all about?" I questioned Remus.

He sighed and rolled his eyes before responding, "They're planning a prank. First one of the year."

"And why aren't you helping them?" I laughed.

Remus shrugged. "Opted out," he offered. "But, in about ten seconds, they're going to realize that they need my help and come bursting back in here."

"Really?" I said, chuckling again.

"Oh yea. Just watch." I stared at the door as Remus counted off the seconds, and sure enough, just as he reached one, the doors to the hall flew open again. This time, I glimpsed James— his hair standing on end like he'd just been electrified, his eyebrows singed, and his face blackened with soot—standing there all defeated looking, motioning for Remus exasperatedly, while Sirius laughed uncontrollably.

"And there's your cue," I said with a small wave, as Remus rolled his eyes and left to join his friends.

I shook my head, laughing to myself at the idiocy of boys, when, glancing up, I realized Remus had returned. "Forget something?" I asked.

"Yup," he said simply, holding his hand out.

"I didn't take anything of yours," I replied, thoroughly confused.

"No, I was offering the hand to you—Sirius thinks you should help us. You know, to get you noticed or something." As he spoke, Remus retracted his hand awkwardly, wiping it on his trousers before sliding it into his back pocket.

I sighed. "This isn't anything bad is it? No one will get hurt?"

"You think I would let them do it if it were dangerous?" he asked innocently. I raised my eyebrows. "Yea, you're right, that hasn't stopped them before," Remus conceded. "But this one isn't so bad," he added.

"What is it?"

"Come on, and you'll find out," he grinned. I shook my head before swinging my legs over the bench and standing to join him.

*What You Wish For*

"_This_ is your big prank?" I asked, incredulous as I glanced around greenhouse three. Sirius and James were staring at me with large, child-like eyes, while Remus leaned casually against the glass wall to the overcrowded greenhouse and Peter tried desperately to keep the granola bar he was eating away from a Venomous Tentacula.

"Isn't it marvelous? We wanted to use animals, but we figured they'd move around too much. Too much of a chance they'd get up to the Gryffindor common room," Sirius explained happily.

"But what exactly is the purpose?" I questioned, trying to understand their logic.

"Wreak havoc on some Slytherins?" Sirius shrugged.

"How is anyone ever going to manage to clean them up?" I continued with my stream of questions.

"Flitwick'll figure something out—he always does," James answered this time.

I stared blankly for a minute, then slowly began to chuckle, which turned into full on laughter. "You know, this actually is quite brilliant," I managed to get out through my laughs.

"Why, thank you," Sirius smirked.

"Come on, we'll set this up later," I said, finally regaining control, "but for now, we need to get to class."

"Look at you, calling the shots," Sirius joked. "Guess my project is going well!"

I punched him in the arm.

*What You Wish For*

I woke up exhausted, and I'm not joking when I say it took me over five minutes to remember why. The prank. We had been out until nearly three in the morning carting plants around… Which reminded me. I needed to get down to the Great Hall to see the faces of the entire Slytherin House when they realized their common room was filled with miscellaneous plants. Or when they figured out that the plants had the Gemino Curse on them, and they duplicated if touched or _Evanesco_-ed.

I rushed to get changed, threw my hair into a ponytail, and sprinted down to the Great Hall.

The sight that met my eyes there made staying up until three well worth it. Slytherins had made their way to the hall in search of teachers to help them with the common room situation, while the rest of the school merely sat and laughed at the frantic group.

"They've filled up my whole dormitory!"I heard a girl cry. "And whenever I touch them, they get really big and squirt some nasty liquid on me," she said before breaking down into a fit of sobs. "And it smells, and everything it touches smells, and SMELL ME!" she shrieked. "I SMELL GROOOOOSSSSSSS!"

I stared in utter shock before bursting into laughter. This was absolutely brilliant!

"How'd we do?" Sirius asked, suddenly appearing beside me.

I couldn't stop laughing, so I settled for nodding and a thumbs up.

"I'm glad," he said. "This was fun—you should help us prank more often!" he continued, failing to notice Professor Binns suddenly appearing behind him. I stopped laughing. The old ghost was staring right at us; we were screwed! There was no way he didn't hear Sirius talking about the prank!

"Erm," I cleared my throat and scratched the back of my head, trying my hardest to appear casual. "G'morning Professor," I said in a fake-cheery tone.

"Oh, good morning, Miss, uh," Binns stopped speaking there, probably realizing that he didn't know my name. Then he just continued floating along like nothing happened. I looked at Sirius in disbelief, my eyes wide. As if on cue, we both burst into laughter at exactly the same time.

"He didn't—even—bother to scold—us," I gasped through my giggles.

"What was he even doing up here anyways?" Sirius managed, his laughter dying down. I stopped to consider it.

"You know, I have no idea." And the laughing began again.

****A/N: Why hello again! So soon? I know! I'm so proud! This chapter was, as you probably guessed, a filler. I know. But next chapter is Hogsmeade, so that'll be fun, right? Did you like the prank? You can thank NightHawk 97 for that one (and so can I—THANKS!). This would have been up sooner, but I got kind of side tracked watching that guy read Forbiden Fruit: the temptation of edward cullen in a funny voice… so yea. Reviews make me happy, so PLEASE! We don't want Alex feeling like more of a loner, right?****


	7. Chapter 7

****Please don't hate me…. I'm so sorry… I'm a bad person, I know. But in my defense, I recently saw Les Mis, and for those of you who have seen it, you must understand my obsession. So then I had to read the book, which is rather massive, and that took a while, and then I got a really good idea for a fic of that so I had to outline it! I promised myself I wouldn't start writing it though until this one is done, so that's motivation to finish this one (and reviews can't hurt either)! And I promise I won't be hasty or sloppy. This will be finished to the best of my ability by summer. Promise. Even though we've got a ways to go. Anyways, I'm just gonna jump back into this now…****

Chapter Seven

It didn't take me five minutes this time to figure out why I felt how I did when I woke up—I mean I would've been a little worried if it had—considering that today was Saturday, i.e. Hogsmeade weekend, i.e. my date, if one can call it that (and believe me, I am _so_ calling it that), with Remus. I sprung out of bed, any trace of tiredness gone in an instant, and rushed to shower. I then hurried to get dressed and make myself look presentable while still dressing warmly, seeing as an early frost had seemingly covered the world overnight, freezing everything it could lay its spindly hands on.

Finally deciding on a pair of brown corduroys, a cream v-necked jumper, and rain boots (which were the only boots in my possession, leaving me quite unprepared for the imminent winter), I grabbed a coat and headed down for a quick breakfast.

As I hastily scarfed down porridge of some kind or another, Remus appeared beside me, causing my eyes to grow large as I stared at him, embarrassed at the unflattering amount of food crammed into my mouth.

"I take it you're ready to go?" he asked with a smile.

I winced as I managed to swallow the immense portion in my mouth before replying, "As ever." Damn that had sounded better in my head—sort of a cross between 'As always' and 'Ready as I'll ever be.' I'd thought it'd sound witty, but now that I'd said it I just sounded confused. Remus didn't seem to mind though, and he offered me his arm. I blushed and took it, walking out of the hall with him and heading off to Hogsmeade.

"So what does one usually do on a date with Remus Lupin?" I asked as we walked along the now icy path leading into the village, attempting to sound nonchalant but probably failing miserably.

"Wouldn't know— I haven't been on a date with him, now have I?" he smirked. He was a lot better at this bantering thing than I was. So to save myself from words, I just punched him in the arm. "What was that for?" he protested.

"You know what I meant."

"Do I?" he flashed his lopsided smile. I just shook my head and laughed at him. "But we could go to the Three Broomsticks and warm up a bit—you look cold." I hadn't noticed earlier, but my hands were shaking with cold, despite my face being flushed.

"Sounds good," I said, now realizing just how cold I was. I let out a small nervous chuckle and wrapped my arms closely around my body. Remus slung his arm around my waist, and we walked the rest of the way in silence.

We entered the tavern, both of us seeming to have forgotten about Remus's arm on my waist, and were quickly reminded of that fact as nearly every head turned in our direction. Whispers of "She's not with Sirius?" and other things of that nature reached my ears, and I nervously dropped my eyes, letting my hair fall in my face as I hastily dropped into a seat near the door. Remus took the second seat at the two-person table, and, brushing my hair back from my face with his hand, gave me his signature smile—my smile.

"I'll go get us drinks," he offered politely, standing and making his way towards the bar. I sat back and waited all of five seconds before Remus was again at the table sporting two Butterbeers.

"How'd you get those so fast? It's so crowded in here!" I said in astonishment.

"Rosmerta likes me," he said with a shrug, setting down the two steaming glasses. I raised my eyebrows at him—of course the thirty-something bartender would like him. "Not like that." He rolled his eyes, a faint smile still on his face.

I shook my head, smiling and, out of the corner of my eye, saw Chris a few tables away. Of course. I wasn't sure if he had seen us yet, but seeing as this was my _date_ with _Remus_, that wasn't an interaction I was willing to chance. "Maybe we should go," I said, glancing from Remus to Chris and back again.

Remus understood. We left without much of an issue, then proceeded to wander aimlessly through the village, talking about everything and nothing.

"Remember that Halloween in fourth year?" he was saying.

"Is that the year the pumpkins exploded?"

"No, that was third year I think. Fourth year was the year the bats were charmed to dive-bomb James and Sirius," he said with a chuckle. "McGonagall thought they'd done it to themselves to get a Slytherin in trouble."

I stared at him in disbelief, anticipating what he was about to say.

"They never did find the culprit," he said thoughtfully.

"Let me guess," I said, tossing my head dramatically to the side to glance at him, "because it was—"

I suddenly slid on a patch of ice and let out a yelp, squeezing my eyes shut as I felt my feet fly out from under me. I braced myself for impact on the hard ground and waited for my fall to end, but the ground never came. I opened my eyes cautiously, wondering why I hadn't hit the ground, and felt the strong arms wrapped around my waist. Remus helped me up, and I turned to face him, realizing now just how close we were.

"—you," I finished my sentence from before my fall. I couldn't stop myself from gazing into his eyes, from examining his perfect flushed cheeks: Our faces were so close. His breath was warm against my chilled skin, and my heartbeat tripled as I waited in anticipation for one of us to close the distance between us.

"I'm sorry," he breathed, his arms slackening form around my waist. "I can't do this." He backed away, then turned and nearly sprinted away from me, leaving me to stand in shock and wait for the reality of what had just happened to set in.

****A/N: Don't hate me (again, I know—I just feel as if it's necessary here, seeing what just transpired) I didn't mean for it to happen! Actually that's a lie, it fits in with my master plan. What I meant to say is that I fully intend to… ah that might give away the story. So you'll just have to keep reading to find out what I planned to do! And if you're in a particularly giving mood, (or just really want to know what happens) a review just might speed up the process. Lots of love!****


	8. Chapter 8

Chapter Eight

Any trace of extrovert in me vanished with Remus—I kept to myself, did my work, and generally avoided the Marauders. Well granted it's been one day, but it's a miracle I've managed to avoid them for that long: I even skipped Sunday morning breakfast, and even though I was cranky the whole day, I didn't even feel the need to take it out on anyone.

But today I figured I'd better eat—it's pointless being more moody than need be on a Monday. I made my way to the Great Hall, then the Gryffindor table, then the end of the table as far away from the Marauders as possible. As soon as I sat down, Sirius was on his feet, walking over to me.

"We've been over this, Alex, we sit over there." Sirius said it like it was a joke, like I had forgotten to sit with them.

"Well that's fine, go sit over there then," I replied, not taking my eyes off the pile of eggs I was scooping onto my plate.

"I meant _we_ as in _you_ being included in that group," he laughed confusedly, obviously taken aback.

"And I meant 'go sit over there' as more of a 'leave me the fuck alone' type thing, but I guess both of us missed something in the other's words, don't you think?"

The mock cheeriness in my voice coupled with the fact that I just swore scared even me, so I wasn't surprised when Sirius's eyes grew large, and he backed away cautiously, walking back over to his seat with Remus, Peter, and James. I distinctly heard him grumble, "Nice goin', Moony. You made her hate us." Remus stood and left after that.

I finished my eggs as slowly as possible, moving only when absolutely necessary towards the dungeons for Potions with the Slytherins. I eventually regretted that decision, though, when I finally reached the dank classroom and the only seat left was next to Severus Snape. At least my potion would most likely be perfect.

I sat down thinking of ways the situation could be worse—I could be sitting next to Remus, it could be raining in the dungeon, a dragon could've gotten loose and destroyed the castle, I could be sitting next to Remus, a boggart could've hidden itself in my trunk again, or, you know, I could be next to Remus.

"Do you want to get ingredients, or shall I?" Severus's drawl cut through my train of thought, snapping me back to my unfortunate reality. Maybe I'd take the boggart instead.

"I'll get them," I offered noncommittally, and I strode over to the store cupboard to begin my hunt for fluxweed and other fun-sounding things. It really didn't occur to me that I'd encounter Remus here, but I guess that explains my reaction when he tried to talk to me: I didn't even look at him.

I returned to my table, arms laden with strange herbs, to find a rapidly bubbling cauldron and a smirking Severus.

"What?" I snapped.

"Nothing," he responded coolly. "Problems with lover-boy?"

I stared him down. "I don't know what you're talking about."

The smirk on his face grew ever so slightly. "Good, it's best you don't associate with his kind anyways."

I rolled my eyes in annoyance and spat, "Remus is more pureblood than you, _Severus_." His name came out more like a hiss.

His smirk grew wider still. "I'm afraid blood status has nothing to do with lycanthropy," he drawled, dropping his gaze to stir the now orange concoction in the cauldron.

"Lycanthropy," I repeated.

At this, Lily Evans, who had been sitting in front of us, whipped her head around and hissed, "Severus doesn't know what he's talking about, do you, Severus?"

"Of course not. Silly me," Severus deadpanned, but something in his voice had changed, and the cocky smirk had shrunk ever so slightly. "Stir this while I chop the butter root," he instructed me. I grabbed the ladle and mindlessly stirred, wanting desperately for the lesson to be over.

*What You Wish For*

I leaned my head against the frost-fringed glass of the window seat in Gryffindor Tower. No one was in the common room—they'd all gone down to dinner, an event I decided to forgo, based on the fact that Remus might be there and that I couldn't stop thinking about what Severus said. I was almost fighting with myself about it.

The conversation went something like this:

"Lycanthropy? Really?"

"Well he is sick a lot."

"But isn't that jumping to conclusions?"

"Maybe, but it could happen."

"Then why has Severus noticed before you have?"

"Well in case _you_ haven't noticed, Remus and I didn't really speak until this year."

"But it's not like he was invisible to you—I mean you did fancy him."

"Did? You say that like the crush thing ended with Saturday, which I can assure you, it didn't."

"Maybe not for you."

"What are you saying?"

"He did run away from you."

"Maybe he was afraid to tell me about his lycanthropy."

I stopped the dialogue once my internal voices started getting defensive, though I couldn't deny Voice #2 made a point—Remus being a werewolf provided me with an explanation (no matter how far-fetched) that has nothing to do with a fault of mine as to why he ran away. It looked rather appealing. I snorted at how ridiculous I sounded, having an imaginary argument about a fictitious ailment projected onto a guy who basically dumped me.

I began to draw pictures in the frost on the glass: a werewolf, a flower, a cauldron, and a broken heart all made their way onto my montage of glass art.

Through one of the pictures, I could vaguely see someone moving about on the grounds. Curious, I wiped the window with my sleeve so I could see who it was trekking about on the frost-tipped grass. Recognition flooded though me as I spotted the two familiar gaits—albeit one being helped along by the other—the first belonging to Sirius, who was helping the second person, who was undoubtedly Remus. I watched wondrously as the pair made their way to the Whomping Willow, which, for some odd reason, wasn't whomping. The tree stood seemingly motionless as the two boys made their approach and… disappeared? I stared, mouth agape, as Remus vanished under the roots of the massive tree. Sirius glanced around, then transformed into a large, black dog before wriggling under the roots as well. My mouth dropped open further: Even if Remus wasn't a werewolf, Sirius was _definitely_ an animagi.

But out of curiosity, I had to see if there was a full moon; I rose to a kneeling position on the window seat and pressed my face as close to the window as it would go, trying to see farther to my left—the place I knew the moon hung in the sky. I shifted back and forth, trying to see around towers and trees, when finally I reached a spot where I could see the moon perfectly. And I could see clearly that it was perfectly full.

****A/N: I MADE IT UP TO YOU! HERE'S ANOTHER UPDATE! Hopefully this one's more agreeable… Thanks to everyone who reviewed the last chapter! You guys are wonderful! Lots of love!****


	9. Chapter 9

Chapter Nine

Two things I knew for sure, I thought as I sat in the library the night after the full moon. One: Sirius was an animagus. And two: Remus was a werewolf. My suspicions were confirmed this morning, when he wasn't in class all day, and I distinctly heard his voice as I passed by the hospital wing. Not that I was snooping—I happened to be in the area, and well… no, okay. I might have possibly been checking to see if he was there.

What I didn't know was far more complicated. How did I feel about Remus being a werewolf? What was I going to do about it? What did it mean for… well… us? If that ever got off the ground?

I gave these questions a great deal of thought, though only one answer began to emerge. As for how I felt about Remus being a werewolf, it didn't bother me. He was still Remus—I'd known the same Remus since the start of term and fancied him for even longer—my knowledge of his condition didn't change anything about him.

And he was only a wolf twelve nights of the year. I could handle that. I think. But what if something went wrong? I mean, werewolves were the horrible monsters in fairytales that the prince had to save the princess from. I'd never heard of a fairytale where the prince _was_ the werewolf. I was in the library—I could always check…

But anyways: Remus had been hiding his condition all this time without anyone finding out or getting hurt. That was a good sign, right? I mean, I don't think there's been any suspicious cover-ups of werewolf induced injuries, and no one seemed to be mysteriously missing a large chunk of flesh or an arm or leg or anything.

"UGH," I sighed, letting my head fall on the wooden table with a loud thump, effectively earning me a loud "SHHHH" from Madame Pince.

My thoughts were threatening to overwhelm me again when I heard the scraping of a chair against the floor. Someone had joined me. I slowly picked my head up to see who it was, my eyes then rolling once I did.

"What are you doing here, Sirius?" I sighed. The Marauders, well minus Remus, are famous for not stepping foot inside the library and still pulling good grades.

"Looking for you," he replied simply, with a small shrug of his shoulders. "We need to talk about your Remus problem."

The words "No we don't" were halfway off my tongue when I stopped myself. "Maybe we do," I admitted.

"Well maybe talk wasn't the right word. This will be more of a 'show' type thing." He reached down underneath his chair and brought out a stack of two very large, very old books that, judging by the bold RESTRICTED printed on the binding, were straight out of the Restricted Section.

"What's this? How did you get these?" I whispered at him.

"Your answers. And does it really matter how I got them?" Sirius raised his eyebrows.

I searched for an answer to that question without finding one because yes, it did matter how he got them, but no matter what, I wanted whatever answer Sirius had provided for me. I closed my mouth, deciding it was better not to know how these books made their way into my possession.

"Thanks," I finally managed to get out.

He nodded and stood to leave, then stopped and placed a third, much smaller book on the top of the pile.

"What's this?" I asked again.

"A fairy tale where the prince is a bear—still not a wolf, but I figured they were close." He turned to leave again.

"Wha—How did you—" I stuttered in disbelief.

"You should check your habit of muttering to yourself: That's how things that should remain secret get out." And with that, he was gone.

As soon as his back was out of my sight, I yanked the books towards me. I took the smallest book—the fairy tale—off the top and read the title: _Snow White and the Red Rose_. There's more than one Snow White story? I gently placed the book down, seeing as it's black binding and silver lettering, though in good condition, looked old and delicate. I then grabbed the second book from the pile. This one didn't have a title—not a legible one, anyway—but it did have a page marker poking out in the middle of the book. Ah good, Sirius wasn't going to make me read the whole book. I flipped open to the page and found a note scrawled in Sirius's handwriting on the marker.

_Soon you too can have your own furry little problem! We found a combination of this and p. 879 of the other book to be most effect_ive. _Good luck!_

I stared confusedly for a few seconds at the note, then set it aside and glanced at the page.

"Sirius," I whisper-called, knowing full well that he couldn't hear me. "I can't do this! I'm not smart enough, or-or-or," I faltered. "This isn't a solution to my problem!"

But it was. Sirius seemed to think I was capable, and obviously at some point he had been too. It seems that my best shot at Remus was being able to protect myself. And I guess that comes with becoming an animagus.


	10. Chapter 10

****This chapter would have been up a lot sooner, but it somehow got deleted off my computer not once, but twice (I blame my brother). I also had APs this week, so the time I would normally spend writing I spent studying the history of Europe. Believe me, I am NOT happy to have to start over and would rather have spent the time writing, but I'll live, I guess. I just have to remember where I left off… Oh yea. Here goes!****

Chapter Ten

It'd been a week since I've been down to dinner: Using reading the restricted books as motivation, I found that skipping dinner has enabled me to remain on top of all of my assignments. Just because I didn't plan to go through with this doesn't mean I couldn't read about it—I mean, animagi are fascinating. But I could only read after all my assignments are done, a restriction I originally designed for myself to keep from becoming too tempted to go through with this; this, well, backfired of sorts, and I'd kept up with all my work and still managed to read until nearly three each morning.

The more I read about becoming an animagus, the less confident I was that I could go through with it. Nearly every page of both books were filled with gruesome pictures of half-human-half-animal creatures (there was even one of a man who somehow got both of his eyes moved to the back of his head?—what had he even been trying to become?). As far as I could see, there wasn't a single picture of a successful transformation.

Sirius wasn't much of a help either; he'd been acting as if we never talked. Which was helpful. He was the only person I knew who was an animagus— well, other than McGonagall, but it's not like I could just go up to her and say, "Hey, how would I go about becoming an illegal animagus?" I can just see that conversation ending well.

So I went about each day as if it were a normal day, and each night I hurried to read more about the ridiculous plan that I would never go through with. I'd taken to skipping lunch as well, except when I was completely starving, despite the increasing size of my breakfasts. I used lunch to finish assignments so I could read later. It was amazing how organized I became when I had motivation.

One thing that hadn't changed, though, was my inability to stay awake in class. That, in fact, was made worse by my late night reading. And to top that all off, Remus had stopped writing down the notes for me—we'd sort of fallen into this routine of pretending the other doesn't exist. Which was not helped by our schedule, believe me. I was forced to write my own notes, scattered and smeared with bits of information missing from where I'd fallen asleep.

That's what I'd been doing—attempting to do—during a particularly pointless Defense lecture when, believe it or not, words appeared on my paper. Oh, I know, how peculiar for words to appear on paper while taking notes! But no, I did not write them.

_So what animal are you?_

I nearly shouted in surprise, then began to frantically search the room for whoever wrote this. Did I have this class with Sirius? I couldn't remember—oh, there he was, sitting three rows ahead of me. And how would he manage to write on my paper**? **

_It's Sirius._

That cleared some things up.

_It's a spell James invented to get Lily's attention in class._

Also helpful with the confusion factor. But how was he answering questions I hadn't asked out loud?

_And no, I can't read your mind._

Well that was good, though the timing of that message made me doubt its truth.

_You can choose to write back at any time, you know._

Really? Weird. How the hell did this spell work?

_So are you going to tell me what animal you are?_

_**Sirius, **_I wrote tentatively.

_Yes?_

_**I'm not. I'm not becoming an animagus.**_

_You mean you haven't started yet? I was wondering what was taking you so long—it only takes a week or so once you figure out how to do it, and I did the hard part for you!_

_**Well that's good to know, but I'm not doing it. Period. **_

_What? Of course you are! It's for Remus!_

_**So? He's… well… Remus, but I'm not going to kill myself for him…**_

_Of course you're not! You're just becoming an animagus, not one of the undead!_

_**Do you even know how much can go wrong? Did you look at the pictures in the books?**_

_Yea, those are just in there to scare people out of trying to become illegal animagi._

_**Well they work.**_

_You'll be fine! What are you worried about?_

_**Really? Um okay, let's see—DEATH?**_

_Why? It's not that hard—even Peter did it, and you're way smarter than he is. I mean, he almost didn't make it, but he pulled through!_

_**Wait what? Are all the Marauders animagi?**_

_Damnit, Alex, don't write the word!_

_**You've written it twice, genius.**_

_What? No I—oh. Well, yea. We are. Except Remus. And you will be too!_

_**Sirius—**_

_No! You can do this! And don't even tell me you don't want to, because I know you do. It's for Remus._

_**But—**_

_No. No buts. And by the way, if you're going to keep skipping meals to do this, the kitchens are in the basement behind the picture of the fruit. Just tickle the pear. The house elves love making food for people .Ha, you think we don't notice these things. We do, dear Alex, we do._

_**But Sirius—**_

_We've been over this: No buts. I expect to hear what animal you are by this time next week._

I then saw him crumple up a piece of paper; I guess this conversation was over. Even with the vote of confidence, Sirius wasn't helpful—all he did was give me a deadline, which, I'll be honest, freaked me out a little. I realized something though: I might actually want to meet it.


	11. Chapter 11

Chapter Eleven

By the end of lunch that day, I had set up camp in Moaning Myrtle's bathroom. I figured no one ever went in there, and Myrtle's not social enough to tell anyone about what I do in there. The way Sirius suggested I… become furry… had two parts: a potion, which made the body more susceptible to change, and a spell, which was nonverbal (of course—make things more difficult) and harder to remember than every word of my last History of Magic essay.

I had laboriously lugged my cauldron up to the bathroom (yes, I realize that I could have moved it with magic, but where's the fun in that? That's a total lie—I couldn't remember the spell for it until I had already made it to the bathroom, so I used it anyway to carry it the three feet through the door just to prove to myself that I wasn't a total failure of a witch) and gathered all the ingredients which, after I figured out what the faded words actually said, were surprisingly simple—I had most of the ingredients already, and what I didn't have, I asked Slughorn for. They weren't exactly rare, so I told him I needed them for a potion to cure a friend's owl of the sniffles, since I don't have my own pet. Needless to say, he bought it.

The potion supposedly took a little under a week to brew—six days, to be exact— I could meet Sirius's deadline. _There's still time to back out_, I kept telling myself, but I knew I wouldn't. I wanted this. Not just for Remus or some stupid expectation from Sirius; this was about me defying the law and wanting to become an animal. That came out wrong—ah, you get the picture. Point is, I wouldn't be doing this if it wasn't something that I genuinely wanted, and the scary thing was, I did.

So I dragged everything into the farthest and darkest stall, conjured in the toilet a small flame(that I spent nearly an hour trying to make hover just above the water),set the cauldron on the toilet seat, and began brewing the potion. When I reached the agonizing point where the instructions told me to 'Let brew for twelve hours,' I packed up the rest of the ingredients and stacked them on the back of the toilet, tucked the books in my bag, and left the stall, casting a spell that would hopefully seal the door to my makeshift brewery.

Waiting was definitely the hardest part. The rest of the day was spent thinking about the potion, rather than actually doing work, taking notes, or anything else that might help me pass this year. I did come to the unhappy conclusion that the next time I'd have to visit the potion would be at around one in the morning, meaning I'd have to sneak around the castle in the dark. Well, if I could break the law for this, I guess breaking a few school rules wouldn't make too much of a difference. So I began planning my escape from Gryffindor Tower, mapping in my head which passages and staircases I could take to make it safely to Myrtle's bathroom. I also tried telling myself that I should take a quick nap—I wouldn't be any good to myself tired—but my brain was too wired, so I used the time to finish, ironically enough, my Potions homework.

Half past midnight, though, I couldn't wait any longer. I grabbed the books and crept out of my dorm, where I had been doing my work quietly and with the curtains drawn so if my dorm mates happened to notice me, they might think I was asleep. I rushed soundlessly through the common room, slowly opening the portrait hole in an attempt to not wake the Fat Lady, and sliding out into the empty hallway. The corridors were eerie at night: Sound seemed to amplify off the walls, paintings yelled at you for using your wand as a light, and I constantly feared that a teacher would jump out from behind a corner. But amazingly enough, I made it to the bathroom without meeting anyone. I gently pushed open the door, wincing when it creaked, and slipped inside. I hurried to the last stall and undid the sealing charm on the door. It swung open casually, and paranoid me glanced over my shoulder one last time to make sure I was alone. When it seemed as if I was, I entered the stall, then dropped my wand, startled, and backed up, my hand pressed against my heart.

"Sirius," I hissed, still in shock at seeing another person, "what on earth are you doing?"

The git had moved my ingredients to the floor and was lounging on the back of the toilet, leaning up against the wall of the stall, reading a book by wandlight. He glanced up and smiled when he saw me. "Figured you could use some help—I was right, too. Your fire wasn't nearly hot enough."

Sure enough, the fire under my cauldron looked much brighter; flames licked the sides of the pewter excitedly while the potion itself seemed to bubble more enthusiastically.

"But how did—the sealing charm—how'd you get in?" I sputtered.

"The tops of the stalls are open, Alex," Sirius said like it was the most obvious thing in the world. "I just climbed over."

"But—but then—why are you still here?"

"I was going to add the ingredients for you, in case you didn't show or fell asleep or something."

"But why?"

He seemed to think about this for a second, then answered confidently. "Because everyone deserves a shot at happiness, and fear or stubbornness shouldn't stand in the way."

I stared at him in shock—a different kind of shock than the 'seeing some random guy sitting in the stall of your supposedly secret potion' kind, but shock all the same.

"Sirius, I didn't think such beautiful words have ever come from your mouth," I told him, eyebrows still raised.

"Why thank you," he grinned. "Now toss me the fluxweed. We have a potion to brew."

****A/N: Sorry for the late update! Also sorry that it's a little short… What do you think of Sirius deciding to help her? Review with opinions!****


	12. Chapter 12

****A/N: Why hello there, lovely readers. I do believe it's been too long—sorry 'bout that—been a bit busy. And yet I managed to take time (while on a train, listening to the lady next to me preach about the devil) to write this update for you! I know this is an exciting chapter, but I feel as if it isn't my best. Something about it—I don't know, it just doesn't seem good. I feel like I've crossed over to the side of authors who are totally predictable and the idea has been so overdone it's charred black. I hope, however, that you all do NOT think that, though if you do, I completely agree. Anyways, enough moping from me. Enjoy the chapter and tell me if you think it's as awful as I do!****

Chapter Twelve

"Put that light out!" a particularly nasty portrait snarled at me.

I stuck out my tongue like the mature person I am, but muttered "Nox," all the same. I inwardly cursed myself for starting that damn potion when I did, because now all the required brewing times were at unsightly hours of the morning. It's a miracle I have never been caught. It's also a miracle that I've made it to the end without losing an eyebrow or more valuable body part—then again, I have Sirius (as reassuring as that thought is) to help me.

I knew my way to Myrtle's bathroom quite well by now, but the dark aspect wasn't helpful. So I made my way there slowly, feeling along the wall and trying not to jab any of the portraits, all of which was made much harder by the fact that all I wanted to do was sprint to that bathroom and get this thing going. Tonight would be my last trip. THE night. Tonight I'd know if going to bed exceedingly late since the library incident was worth it.

By tomorrow, I could choose to be… well, furry. At least I hoped it was furry. What if I was some gross reptile? Or a bird? Or worse—a fish? I shuddered at the thought. The book wasn't exactly specific on if you could choose what animal you became or if you just got a random one. I wondered if you could make suggestions to the spell—"Oh, hi, excuse me, could I please be a mammal? Not a fish or lizard? Okay thanks."

I felt the corridor funnel into a larger corridor, then hurried across the hall to where I knew the bathroom would be. I slid through the door and lit my wand again. Myrtle, who for some reason decided I was public enemy number one (that might have been after I dropped one of the massive books down her toilet), was nowhere to be found (thank goodness)—when she was here, she was unbelievably annoying. For someone who is almost constantly insulted, she sure doesn't waste any time firing insults at total strangers.

Sirius also wasn't going to be here. It appears he did have some degree of courtesy, and he decided that tonight was rather personal and didn't want to intrude.

So I was alone.

The potion, which was now a brilliant red color, was bubbling nicely, though it was emitting a scent like cayenne peppers and someone's underwear on fire. I stirred it twice clockwise, per the book's request, then opened the other book to the spell I needed. Sirius had told me that I don't need to memorize the spell (thank Merlin) and could just repeat the words on the page in my head. I read them over for good measure.

I took a deep breath. The potion was finished, and I was in the bathroom and theoretically ready to do this. I grabbed the cup I'd brought with me yesterday (I'd gotten a bit hopeful, alright?) and ladled some smelly red soup into it. I breathed again, then plugged my nose in hopes that it would nullify the anticipated awful taste. Then I chugged back the whole cup of liquid.

Plugging my nose did absolutely nothing—the potion burned the whole way down and then some. It seemed to spread along my whole body, starting in my chest then working to my arms, then my torso, then my legs. I felt as if my body was on fire: I dropped the cup and staggered back, nearly crumpling to the ground before I remembered what I had to do. I leaned over the book, bracing myself on the stall wall, and tried to read the words through my blurring vision. I focused the best I could as I repeated the words in my head. As soon as I started the incantation, a cool feeling began to spread from my hands and feet, over my arms and legs, and to my torso, stopping just around my chest.

At this point I thought that if I were to make a suggestion, now would be the time to do it.

_Some kind of mammal,_ I thought, _maybe a large cat?—like a lion or something?_

The burning sensation in my chest intensified, but this time stayed contained to my chest. It grew hotter and hotter—for the first time since drinking the potion, I realized I was sweating—until it became unbearable, and I blacked out.

***What You Wish For***

I woke up on the floor of the bathroom, still human, still in my fuzzy pajamas, only now I had a throbbing headache.

_Shit,_ I thought._ It didn't work._

For something I wasn't sure if I wanted in the first place, I was incredibly disappointed. I figured I couldn't just lie here all day though, so I picked myself up off the floor, brushed the hair back from my face, and looked out the window to get a hint as to what time it was. The sun hadn't risen yet—I let out a sigh of relief—so I had time to clean up this mess. I vanished the potion and the fire, put all the unused ingredients in their case, took the cauldron from the toilet, closed the books carefully, and placed everything in the cauldron.

I made my way to the door, glancing sideways in the mirror on my way out. Yep, still me. I turned away, then stopped, looking tentatively back at my reflection. I did _not_ have green eyes. And my pupils certainly were not slit shaped. I gasped in surprise and almost dropped the cauldron. I looked closer to make sure I wasn't seeing things—hey, it was a rough night, alright?—and smiled to myself.

I set down the cauldron: I was going to try to transform. I closed my eyes and thought hard about my form shifting. I stood there for a second, then opened my eyes. Nothing. Still human. I thought again—what could possibly make me become an animal? I thought back to the sensation of the potion; I closed my eyes and focused on it until I could almost feel it. No—I could feel it, rising in my chest, burning me all over again, hotter and more intense than before. I couldn't hold on to it anymore—I gasped, and my eyes fluttered open. I was on my knees, though I don't remember falling, sweating and panting. I watched in the mirror as my eyes shifted from the unnatural green to their usual color.

Okay, so transforming was hard. I didn't know if I'd be able to so soon—I would have to eventually. I decided to put it off; all I needed now was a nice shower (I had slept on the bathroom floor, as if that wasn't enough of a reason) and unfortunately to go to class. But I could tell Sirius that it worked. I'd meet his deadline. I nearly skipped out of the bathroom up to Gryffindor tower.


	13. Chapter 13

****A/N: Ironic that this chapter is number thirteen? Come on, be excited—you're about to find out her animal! Tell me if you like it, will you? Also, Alex may or may not make a sort-of friend? What do you think of her? All this and more I would love to know in your reviews! Reviewers will—OOO I KNOW!—get a cameo in the next author's note AND get the animal you'd be if you were an animagus! Yea? So review! So yea, this story is about to get fun. Updates will also (hopefully) become more regular. Sorry I kept you waiting so long on her animal, but who doesn't like a bit of suspense, right? Alright, thanks for reading, and please keep it up! I've got an exciting end planned for this story that I'd hate to waste!****

Chapter Thirteen

Someone was already in the shower when I got back to my dorm—I hadn't been as early as I'd thought—and they seemed to think it would be good to take as long as humanly possible, probably because they thought they were the last person to use the bathroom. I finally got tired of waiting and knocked.

The shower hurriedly clicked off and a girl called from inside, "Sorry! I didn't know someone was waiting!" Moments later, the door flew open and a girl—Mary, I thought her name was— with sopping wet hair, lopsided skirt, and unevenly buttoned shirt hurried out. "I thought I was the last," she smiled apologetically. She looked at me quizzically, like she couldn't quite place who I was.

"Alex," I said, reminding her of my name.

"Right, no, I knew that; it's just—I don't know _you_. I mean I know we share a room, and, I don't know, there's rumors now, about you, and, well, are they true?" she said awkwardly, with lots of pauses and brow furrowing.

My heart dropped—what rumors? Hogwarts can't know about the animagus thing already—I mean things travel fast, but that must be some kind of record! "What rumors?" I gulped.

"About you and Remus?" she laughed, like it was funny that I was the only person who didn't know what the school was saying.

I blushed bright red. "We're just… friends," I said awkwardly.

"Tough breakup?" she asked apologetically. "If you need anyone, I'm here, you know."

"I'm sorry, what?" I returned, shocked. "Remus and I were not a couple—" she looked shocked at this—"so we did not break up—"she appeared kind of hurt, so I continued—"but, uh, thanks."

"Yea, uh, anytime?" she said, phrasing the sentence like a question. "I'm gonna head down to breakfast—you might want to hurry or you'll miss it," she finished, pointing to the door.

"Thanks, I think," I replied. "Oh and Mary," I called after her, "you're shirt's buttoned wrong."

She laughed at her own stupidity. "Thanks, Alex. I'll, uh, try to save you some breakfast." She smiled.

I nodded, then turned and shut the bathroom door behind me and prepared to rid myself of the smell of Myrtle's floor.

*What You Wish For*

I sat through another awful Defense lecture, only this time I had a muffin—courtesy of Mary, who had handed it off during Divination—and Sirius to keep me entertained.

_So, time's up! What are you?_

This time I didn't even flinch when the words appeared on my paper. I knew it was Sirius.

_**Well I'm pretty sure it worked.**_

___Thank you, Miss State-the-Obvious. That's not what I asked._

_**Um, well I think I'm some kind of cat maybe?**_

___That's incredibly specific Alex, thank you._

_**That's what I'm here for.**_

___Do you really not know? Is your animal vision bad?_

_**I, uh, didn't exactly—**_

___You haven't transformed yet, have you? You've got to do it sometime, you know._

_**It's just—**_

___Just what, Alex? It hurts? Yeah, the first time, it does. But you get used to it. I hardly feel it anymore._

_**Sirius.**_

___Alex._

I let out a sigh that he obviously heard, because he responded:

_You seem to work better on deadlines don't you? I'm giving you until tomorrow to transform. Granted, your first transformation won't last very long, so you've got to practice if you ever want to stay in you animal form for any period of time._

_**Sirius.**_

___YES ALEX? Do you just like saying my name for the fun of it?_

_**No. What do you expect me to do as an animal? How does this solve my Remus problem?**_

___Alex. We've been over this. You can take care of yourself now. You're protected._

_**But how is he supposed to know that?**_

_ You'd tell him._

_**Oh yea, just like that: "Oh hey, Remus, I don't know if you know, but I'm so madly in love with you that I became an animagus so I could protect myself from your crazy werewolf rampages." Yeah, totally normal.**_

___Well you'd phrase it differently, but basically yes._

_**NO!**_

___Come on, Alex, I'm not gonna tell him for you!_

_**Why not?**_

___This is a personal thing between you and him. I have nothing to do with it._

_**Sirius Black you have everything to do with it!**_

___Alex, really. This is all you. I just helped out a bit, but I'm done helping now._

_**Please?**_

___No. And I suggest you get moving on finding your animal because it'd be way more impressive to show him._

And with that he balled up the paper.

*What You Wish For*

_This better be worth skipping dinner for,_ I thought to myself as I locked myself inside an empty classroom. I searched around a bit to make sure that no couples were hidden anywhere, then pulled out a small pocket-sized mirror from my robes.

"_Engorgio_," I muttered, and the mirror grew to be around two feet high. I propped the mirror against a desk and stepped back a few feet, my nerves causing my heart to pound.

With a deep breath, I closed my eyes and recalled the burning feeling in my chest. I imagined every part of the sensation until I could almost feel it—and then I could feel it, just as intense as before. I gritted my teeth and held onto it, refusing to let go. Sweat poured off my brow, my fists balled at my sides, and my head ached from the intense concentration. I felt my bones shift, my thumb sliding up my forearm, my knees popping backwards, and I panicked. With a yell, I flung my eyes open and found myself on the floor, panting heavily. My reflection glared back at me in the mirror. I was still human.

Cursing myself, I brushed the dust from my robes and stood up to try again.

The feeling returned more easily now, and I didn't even grit my teeth as I prepared for my bones to shift. I focused now on the flow of breath—in and out—rather than the burning in my chest. I felt my weight shift to my hands as I fell almost naturally forward, and as suddenly as it had come, the burning stopped.

I opened my eyes warily, the world tinged with yellow, though sharper than before. The sounds, the smells—they were all clear to me now. I felt a low growl arise in my throat, and my lip curled in a sort of smile. I sauntered to the mirror, which I had somehow knocked to the floor during the transformation, and bent my head to look at my reflection. Staring back at me, with a snarling grimace that seemed to be a smile, was a large black jungle cat. A panther.


	14. Chapter 14

****A/N: Yes, I know, another one! And so soon! I'm not quite sure how I feel about this one—Alex is more vulnerable, and that was really hard for me to write. I like writing strong characters, which Alex certainly is, she just shows it differently. It's just hard because she's a shy girl being thrust into the Marauders' world, so her thoughts and actions are sort of caught in between. Anyways. Animagus listings time! WOO! So. If you don't care, just keep scrolling down, and you'll find your chapter somewhere. If you're reading this now and thinking, "Oh, I wish I'd done that!" you can review again on this chapter and I'll do it again next week. If you don't like your animal, sorry! I'm doing what I can! If you're really personally offended by your animal, then you might need to take a chill pill. Anyway, without further ado (in order of review):**

** Guest 1: Rabbit. Say what is necessary, then high tail it out. Seems like your style.**

**LittleMissMia123: Miniature Doberman. From that review alone, I get the hyper energy of a puppy, but there's also that streak of badass that seems to be there, present in this case in the form of a cute spiky collar. Though it's highly doubtful that you think of yourself as this.**

** Guest 2: Otter. Generally happy, I'm guessing, and likes something different about each person. (Plus you like Les Mis, so you get bonus points)**

**Cetacea-of-Time: Squirrel. Excited, high energy, few words before the (assumed) next topic.**

**BoudicaFlamespirit: Horse. I know it's your picture and all, but it so works for you. Excited, yet questioning what people seem to want from you. **

**Guest 3: Cat. Watching and waiting, not getting super emotionally attached.**

**NightHawk97: I got this one. Phoenix. Bird, right? So fits with your theme. Also pretty loyal (I mean Fawkes is anyways) and you've reviewed every chapter for the past two stories so… Not to mention that phoenix tears heal, and your little snippets of knowledge have more than saved this story quite often.**

**AikoRose: Ocelot. They're big on the "friends stick together" type thing. Also thought it'd be fitting to make yours a jungle cat (haha silly me ;)).**

**momotone: Chupacabra. Virtually nothing is known about them.**

**Kyoki no Megami: Komodo dragon. I know you said you'd probably be a cat, but something here just made me say "badass lizard."**

**Woodshrew: Sao Tome Shrew. Like a woodshrew, only ridiculously rare and really cool looking**

Chapter Fourteen

Sirius had been right—I was only able to stay in animal form for about a minute. The transformation from animal to human was surprisingly less painful than human to animal. Rational behind this? No, probably not. Gratefulness on my behalf? Immense.

So despite being rather late, I decided to head down to dinner for the first time in a long time. I'd be ahead of Sirius's deadline, as long as I got the chance to tell him, as well as eating delicious dinner food. I practically sprinted to the Great Hall.

I walked into the hall at the height of dinner, at which point the eating disorder girls were leaving, and when the main courses had already made the transition from platter to plate, but were not quite decimated yet. I avoided the disdainful looks from the group of unnaturally skinny crowd, putting my head down and skirting around them, then making my way to the Gryffindor table.

As I passed by Sirius, I stopped, then bent close to his head and whispered, "Met your deadline."

He stopped chewing and grinned at me, his mouth bulging with food.

"Think—uh—jungle cat," I continued, patting him on the shoulder and turning to walk away. He caught my wrist, holding up a finger and signaling for me to wait while he finished chewing.

"Sit," he said, swallowing with difficulty and sliding over.

"Sirius—" I protested.

"Nope. Sit," he cut me off pulling me over and plopping me down.

I sighed, but didn't get up. James was grinning at me from across the table, Peter was eating on his right (I don't even think he noticed me), Sirius was shoving some of everything on a plate and handing it to me from my right, and Remus, on my left, was concentrating really hard on eating.

"Why are you smiling at me?" I asked James behind a small chuckle.

"Lily thinks you'd be a good influence on me," he grinned.

"Speaking of, Prongs, how are things going with the Head Girl?" Sirius wiggled his eyebrows as he talked.

James's smile widened. "Swimmingly, Padfoot, swimmingly."

"Then why is she not sitting with us?" Sirius asked, seeming to already know the answer.

James blushed and looked around—"Well she seems not to be here at all…"

"Right. And why would that be?" Sirius prodded.

James thought for a moment, then slapped his hands down on the table. "Prefect schedules! Damn! I was supposed to bring dinner to the common room and work with her!" he cried, grabbing a plate and sticking what remained of the food on it before dashing out of the hall.

Sirius chuckled. "What would he do without me?"

"Don't let it go to your head, now," I chided, elbowing him lightly.

"Ow! You know, you don't deserve that potato." He scooped the potato from my plate and plopped it on his own.

"Is that how you treat the girl who's been devoid of dinner for over a week?" I sniffed.

"Is that how you treat the king of Hogwarts?"

"Arrogant prat." I stuck out my tongue.

"Oh, you're a feisty kitty aren't you?" he said, dropping his tone.

"Just as you're a little 'ruff' around the edges," I retorted, smugly turning back to my food.

Sirius was quiet for a moment, then, "I'm impressed."

I mock bowed my head. "Don't be so surprised."

"Well with a mentor like me, I hardly have reason to be," he smirked.

I elbowed him again, trying to ignore when Remus got up and left, his plate still piled with food.

*What You Wish For*

"He hates me now, doesn't he?" I said softly to Sirius as we made our way back to the common room, Peter trailing behind us.

"He does not."

It took every ounce of spunk I had left, but I raised my eyebrows. "Did you see him at dinner? It was like I wasn't even there."

"He's just embarrassed," Sirius sighed. "He won't even tell us exactly what happened."

I snorted. "Well don't expect me to tell you either."

"I'm not. You know, this could get better if you told him."

"Sirius, I'm not sure how that conversation would begin."

"How about, 'Hey Remus.' That should work."

"And then, how do you know it would change anything?" I felt incredibly close to tears, mentally kicking myself for my ridiculous girlishness.

"It would change everything! You wouldn't be so—so—breakable!" He'd started to get frustrated, and his hands were running through his hair in exhasperation.

I hung my head and kept walking, furiously blinking back tears.

"Alex," he called after me, "I'm sorry. I didn't mean that."

"It's fine," I said, sounding slightly strangled. "It's not your problem. I get it."

"Damnit—this was about making your life more exciting, not miserable." He'd caught up to me at this point.

"It's fine," I said, looking up at the ceiling to hold back tears. It was too late though—my voice had cracked, and with it, my resolve. Tears flowed steadily down my face.

"Hey," Sirius said softly, wrapping me in a hug. Pressed tightly to his chest, I took a breath, which came out sounding more like a strangled sob.

"It's just a lot to take in," I said shakily. "I'm not used to attention, or even people, really—" shaky sob "—and then Remus, I just, I don't know. And then becoming an animagus—" sob "—I thought that would fix things, but it's not that simple." I felt so stupid crying to Sirius like this. I felt bad for him to have to put up with this, and I felt dumb for having this breakdown to begin with.

Someone suddenly cleared their throat. My eyes flew open, fearful of who had seen my meltdown, and saw Peter standing there awkwardly. I'd forgotten he was there. I backed away from Sirius, my eyes trained on the ground.

"You probably need this more than I do," he said quietly, holding out a bar of Honeyduke's Finest chocolate. At that moment, it just seemed so sweet that my eyes filled with tears all over again, and I pulled him in for a hug too.

"Okay," I said, calming myself down. "Let's be done with this for tonight."

Sirius and Peter both smiled at me. Genuine smiles. I almost cried again.

"Come on," I continued, feeling loads better. "I bet I can kick both your asses at wizard chess."


	15. Chapter 15

****A/N: So after another brief—well, maybe not… break period, I'm back! And I come bearing updates! YAY! Well, maybe, but I lost the notebook that had all my ideas for this story, so this might veer off course. It could also potentially suck. Um okay so for the new people who reviewed, here's your animals:**

** vlascoD14: Chameleon. You seem to like attention to detail and such, and have a generally good nature. Though I'm not sure why you included the bit about your cat, I sure hope he doesn't eat you in your animagus form. That would be bad.**

** bristar4: Chinchilla. They're soft and have a lot to say, but they don't really know how to get it across. The result is not saying a lot. That seems like you, no?**

** Timbers numer1 girl: I don't think I've said monkey for anyone yet, so that can be yours…**

** Oh and CrazilyObsessed, you haven't gotten one yet either: Field mouse. You are small and squeaky. Also you gave me a raccoon as my animal, so I'm taking my revenge. But really, you'd probably be something awesome like a bear. The cute little black bears that climb trees and stuff? Yep, I can see it.**

** Anyways, thanks to everyone who read last chapter and considered this story worthy enough to check back for another! Special thanks to BoudicaFlamespirit, Night Hawk 97, Woodshrew, Cetacea-of-Time, LittleMissMia123, AikoRose, and CrazilyObsessed, my beloved returning reviewers. Now after that excessively long author's note, wouldn't you like a chapter? Yes? Good, well keep scrolling!****

Chapter Fifteen

"Checkmate," I said cheerily through a mouthful of chocolate.

Sirius pouted, then conceded. "Rematch!" he shouted excitedly.

"Shhhhhh!" I hushed him. "It's two in the morning! Peter's already asleep!"

"Fine. I'll just get my revenge tomorrow then." He cocked his eyebrow and smirked cockily. "Winner cleans up the pieces."

I stuck out my tongue at him, then remembered that I was a witch. I smugly waved my wand and watched as the pieces reset themselves.

"Well g'night then," Sirius said, standing and heading for the boy's dorms.

"Wait, Sirius," I called after him. "What about Peter? Are you just going to leave him on the couch?"

"Well that was the plan, yea."

"That's a horrible thing to do! You'd just let him sleep there? In the middle of the common room?"

"It's not as horrible as you make it sound," he chuckled.

"But it's so open! He could be—" my voice trailed off for a second. "Pranked," I finished mischievously.

"Oh no. We are not pranking Peter," Sirius warned.

"Why not? And don't you dare say 'It's in the code' or whatever, because you and James prank each other all the time."

"What would we even do to him?" Sirius asked somewhat rhetorically.

"You're telling me, that you Sirius Black, supposed 'king'—" I made air quotes—"of all pranks, cannot think of a single thing to do to your vulnerable friend as he sleeps?"

"Come on, Alex, just let me take him upstairs. Like you said, it's two in the morning. We're both tired. Let's just go to bed."

I pouted and crossed my arms. "No fair. You want me to be noticed and have fun, but you don't want me to do something fun."

"What can I say? I don't make sense," Sirius said cheerily, accepting that he'd won.

I stuck out my tongue again. Note to self: Must check rapid development of immature habit. "Fine," I submitted. "But you're making this up to me. In a NON-SEXUAL way," I added, for clarity.

"You know I wouldn't dream of—" I raised my eyebrows at him and he backtracked—"Not that you're not pretty, or, or, a girl. 'Cause you are! It's just—"

"Sirius." I cut him off. "I got it." I shook my head and smiled. "Just go," I said as I pointed to the dorms.

"Right," he said, pulling out his wand and levitating Peter.

"Lazy," I muttered, grinning.

"What was that?" he spun around and asked, narrowly avoiding a collision between Peter's head and the edge of the coffee table.

"Nothing," I chimed.

Sirius eyed me for a moment, then turned—this time actually causing the collision, which Peter didn't even stir from—and (now apologizing profusely to his sleeping friend) headed up the stairs.

*What You Wish For*

"No, Sirius, I do not need another one of your deadlines," I repeated for possibly the fourth time as the two of us made our way to the Great Hall.

"I think you do," he replied smugly. "You seem to work better under a deadline."

"Yea, well, not for this. I'll tell him when I want to." I shook my head.

"Which will be when?"

"I don't know, whenever the timing is right!" I shouted, throwing my hands down.

"Well Moony won't wait forever," Sirius sang (quite obnoxiously, I might add), dramatically sliding into the Great Hall, hands pressed over his heart as he looked up at the ceiling. This whole scene would have been, well still sort of is, funny, had the git not slid right into Remus himself.

"What am I not waiting for?" Remus asked, an amused and gorgeously lopsided—er, ahem, I didn't just… Merlin— smile playing across his face.

Sirius stammered out a few unintelligible things before Remus caught sight of me in the background. I blushed furiously and hurried past both of them. I'm pretty sure Remus stopped smiling.

*What You Wish For*

I sat alone in the Defense classroom eating the toast I grabbed at breakfast and pretending to be enthralled in my textbook. I was at least ten minutes early, tucked safely in the corner of the room. Just like old times. No being noticed for me today.

I heard the bell ring, and students began wandering in, not noticing the girl sitting alone. Good. I absentmindedly flipped the pages of my text, not really taking in any of what I was staring at. I heard the professor come in and greet the class. I was in the clear—until, chair slid out next to me, anonymous person sat down. I didn't want to see who it was. I just buried my head farther into my book.

Class ticked by at a snail-like pace, but I wasn't paying attention anyway. We must have finished a bit early, because I heard books being put away and chairs sliding out when I estimated we still had about five minutes left. A roll of parchment was slid onto my book, and for the first time all lesson, I glanced up.

"What's this?" I asked a somewhat-guilty looking Remus. I blushed as I said this, mainly because he had probably been sitting there through the whole lesson.

"Today's notes," he said nervously. "You were on the wrong page," he clarified.

"Thanks." I didn't look at him as I shoved the parchment in my bag and stood up to leave.

"You can't go yet—we still have five minutes." Ha. I was right. "What's-his-name gave us the last few minutes to study for a Charms test the Hufflepuffs have next."

"Right." I plopped back down in my seat.

Brief awkward silence. Remus clears throat. Short silence. Then, "So, uh, what did Sirius think you had to tell me?" Remus finished, then coughed, embarrassed.

I sighed. "I don't think now is… good. It's—I don't know. It's not that important."

Right on time, the bell rang, and I shot out the door like my life depended on it.

*What You Wish For*

"What were you thinking?!" Sirius shouted, standing over me as I attempted to eat lunch.

"Well roast beef seemed like a good idea at the time, but it isn't really sitting well with me. Somehow I just can't stop eating it, though," I said, shoving another bite into my mouth.

"Not what I mean." He crossed his arms and scowled. "I'm talking about how Remus _gave_ you the absolutely perfect opportunity to tell him, and all you can think to say is 'It's not important'?!" His voice became shrill as he attempted to mimic my voice.

"I do _not_ talk like that!" I replied, indignant.

He rolled his eyes and plopped down next to me. "You are impossible, Alex. You are going to tell him, you know."

"Right, just like you're going to make good on your 'fun' promise," I retorted.

He raised his eyebrows. "Challenge accepted," he grinned, then stood up on the Gryffindor table. "EVERYONE," he called. "PARTY TONIGHT HOSTED BY YOURS TRULY AND THE LOVELY ALEX!" He reached down and grabbed my hand, holding it up like I'd just won a boxing match. I blushed and tried to smile, though I'm pretty sure it came out more like a grimace. "SEE HER OR ME FOR LOCATION!" he shouted.

Cheers rang out as Sirius bowed and hopped off the table. "Alright," he said in a much lower tone to me. "If you want them there, give them a piece of this—" he held out a piece of parchment and waved his wand over it—"and tell them to check it at 9 tonight. If you don't want them there or if their below fifth year, tell them to go to the Transfiguration room."

"Isn't there a review class there tonight?"

Sirius grinned. "If they ask questions, say it adds an element of danger and they don't have to go if they don't want. No one but seventh years will know about the class."

"What if a seventh year asks?"

"Draw a very detailed map to Filch's lair. But don't tell them where they're going."

"You're evil," I smirked. "I like it."

Suddenly James Potter appeared behind us. "Padfoot! Why didn't you tell me we're hosting a party?" he asked.

"Last minute decision. Can we swing it?" Sirius said.

"We'll have to make a Hogsmeade run, but yea. Room of Requirement, then?" James said casually.

"Shhhhh," Sirius hushed him. "Invites by parchment only."

James grinned. "Good. We needed an excuse to test that out." James turned to me and smiled. "Well, I'm off to convince Lily to go with me. See you tonight, Alex, and witch tunnel at 6, Sirius." And with that, he walked cheerily away.

"Witch tunnel?" I asked.

"You have much to learn, young Alex," Sirius grinned. "See you tonight." And he was gone too.

_Well, let's go see if Mary likes to party,_ I thought to myself as I stood to leave, hundreds of eyes watching me ,probably deciding on the best way to corner me and demand an invite. So much for unnoticed.

****A/N: Once I started writing this, it was just too much fun to stop, hence the long-ness compared to my other chappies. Also, the animagus thing takes so much efforrrrtttt so this is the last chapter for it. Unless you're absolutely dying for one and you leave a super nice and long review begging for it. But I don't necessarily see that happening. So. Are you excited for the party? I am! Especially because I have no idea what's going to happen… this wasn't planned, let me tell ya. Anyways, thanks for stickin' with it!****


	16. Chapter 16

****A/N: I realize just how long it's been since I last updated… Wow. So glad you all can stay interested. Many requests for more Remus—well, you got what you wished for (yes, pun intended) around the second half of the chapter—and, well, let's just say that next chapter is going to be the really interesting one. But to get there you've gotta get through this first! I hope you enjoy Alex's party, and don't drink the punch. Some moron spiked it with a wacky potion that causes temporary hair loss. So stick to the Firewhiskey and enjoy the night!****

Chapter Sixteen

I didn't have to look very hard for Mary. Turns out she _does_ like to party, and becomes rather aggressive about invites, meaning that she managed to efficiently elbow her way to the front of the crowd slowly forming around the Gryffindor table.

"Hey Alex," she smiled, "are you doing anything later?"

"I think we both know the answer to that question," I smirked. "I think the question is whether you'd like to join me." Again, both of us knew the answer. I was already ripping a piece of paper off for her.

"Well if you insist," she grinned, taking the paper I handed her. "What's this?"

"You might find that helpful around 9," I said vaguely. She looked confused for a second, then nodded her understanding.

"Thanks Alex," she said cheerily before turning and elbowing her way back through the crowd.

Our whole exchange hadn't been as discreet as I'd imagined it being, and soon people were jostling around and shouting for a piece of paper. They didn't have much respect for personal space, either, so to avoid the poking and prodding, I jumped up onto the bench.

They were yelling at me and grabbing for the parchment, which I was now holding high above my head, and it all got quite a bit overwhelming. So I shouted back. And miraculously enough, they all listened.

"Hey!" I nearly screamed. A few people stopped shouting and stared attentively, but for the most part the ruckus continued. "HEY!" I tried again, this time with better results. "Thank you." I sighed, then realized I should say something of some actual consequence. "I'm going to leave the Great Hall now, and none of you are going to follow me. If you want the location, you can see me individually. That means if I'm talking with someone else, GO AWAY. I know for a fact I have classes with most of you today, and for those of you I don't, well, the corridors are big places." With that, my bossy streak ended, and I became uncomfortably aware of all the eyes carefully watching me. I jumped off the bench as gracefully as I could manage, grabbed my things, and hurried out of the hall.

I didn't have anything else to do, so I went early to Charms. I then realized that I was now just bored in a different location, so I took out my textbook and tried to skim through today's lesson.

"Alex?"

My head snapped up at the sound of my name. Who else would it be but my one and only ex?

"Chris," I said with a fake smile. I had a pretty good idea of what he wanted, and let's be honest, I really did want to use Sirius's idea of drawing a fake map to the location.

"I'm sorry for how things ended between us," he paused, "but I was wondering if we could, you know, get past that?"

"I'm not getting back with you if that's what you're asking," I snorted, snapping my book shut.

"No, that's not what I—I just—" he paused and collected himself. "I was just wondering if I could maybe, uh, have the location for tonight?" he finished nervously. Good. The git deserved to be nervous.

I stared blankly back, then allowed the fake smile to creep back onto my face. "Sure," I said.

"Really?"

"Yep," I smiled sweetly. "Water under the bridge, right? Now, what you're going to do…" I pulled out a piece of parchment and began to draw a detailed map that would lead him all over the school, which I explained would help him avoid known prefect patrols but would actually just lead him in random directions, and that eventually ended with Filch's office. "The signal to get in," I told him, "is pounding on the door five times, loud enough to be heard over the sound of, well, a party, then shouting 'DUNGBOMB,' which is tonight's password." I figured the last part would be a nice way to piss off Filch.

"Great, thanks so much, Alex," he smiled, seeming substantially less uncomfortable. "And, uh…"

"Is there something else?" I asked, still smiling.

"I was just wondering if… uh… I could bring Veronica."

"Veronica?"

"Bailey? We're sort of a thing," he said, as if he were slightly offended that I hadn't heard. Well it's not like I check up on crazy sluts obsessed with Remus unless one of them actually, you know, is successful. I wondered if she's using Chris at all, before I realized that I really didn't care if she was.

I snorted a laugh, then stopped myself, seeing the serious look on his face. "Sure," I said. "The more, the merrier."

"Great, thanks." And with that, he was gone.

Almost as if the universe planned it that way, just as Chris left, the entire Charms class poured in. And for the first time in history, every one of them wanted the seat next to me.

*What You Wish For*

"Are you sure I look okay?" Mary asked me for the millionth time as I lounged on my bed.

"Mary, you look gorgeous." And she did. She had on this strappy tank top, killer tight black skirt, and crazy high heels that looked more painful than was worth. She turned to face me, hands on hips.

"Are you going like that?"

"What's wrong with this?" I asked defensively, crossing my arms over my apparently sub-par tee shirt.

"Nothing, if you're doing homework all night," she smirked.

"Fine," I sighed. "Help me."

"All you had to do was ask," she smiled, turning back to her closet and rifling through her clothes. "Here." She pulled out a short and ridiculously backless long sleeved dress. "Put this on."

"Mary, this is a party, not a gala. I'm not wearing a dress."

"Fine," she pouted. "But you are wearing heels."

"Ehhhh," I whined.

"No complaining. Either dress or heels. You pick."

"Gahhh fine. Heels." I figured I could always take them off.

"Then put this on," she said, tossing a pink halter top and _really_ tight looking pants. I just stared at her incredulously. "And no, you don't have a choice." I sighed, but obediently yanked closed the curtains on my bed and put the outfit on.

Once dressed, I looked down at the outfit and called out to her, "I'm not going out like this—I'm not even opening the curtains like this!"

"Not a choice!" she yelled, yanking the curtains aside. Her eyebrows went up as she backed away from the bed to get a better look. "You should dress like this more often."

"You're lucky I'm dressed like this at all," I protested, jumping down from the bed. "Now toss me some shoes so we can go."

"Oh so now you're eager to show off you outfit?" she joked, handing me a pair of canary yellow pumps.

"No, I'm eager to get this over with. And yellow?" I questioned, jamming my feet into the shoes and becoming about five inches taller.

"It's all I had, because I'm wearing my black ones. And over with? Not hardly."

We made it to the stairs, at which point I turned to face the handrail and, double-handed death grip firmly in place, began my descent. About three stairs in, my foot teetered sideways and my choke hold on the railing barely saved me from taking the painful way down the stairs.

"Screw it." I sat down on the stairs, took off the shoes, and stomped down the stairs barefoot. Mary made me put them back on at the bottom. I pouted but eventually caved, and we linked arms (more for support than anything) and, direction giving parchment in hand, headed for the seventh floor.

We found the location with almost no problem, though that was more due to the very helpful second year standing guard around the corner than our own wit and navigation skills. The party itself was incredible—flashing lights, loud music, and what I think were charmed bubbles that never popped and changed color.

"Mmm come on, we're going to get a drink," Mary said loudly above the music, pulling me to the drink table, which, in truth, was more like a bar. It was even tended by a house elf, for Merlin's sake. "You want a shot?" Mary asked. "Come on, we're doing shots."

"What?"

"You know, shots. Don't act like you haven't heard the word before," she joked, simultaneously signaling to the house elf what we wanted. "Here." She handed me a tiny glass. "Same time. Ready? One, two, three!" I watched as she downed her shot, then shrugged and drained my glass too.

"Merlin!" I sputtered. "That's awful!"

Mary grinned. "I know!" She turned to the bar elf. "Two more, please!" She handed me the second glass and said, "I promise the second one's not as bad," as she slung back her second one. I sighed, scrunched up my face, and followed suit.

"Nope," I coughed out. "Just as bad." She just grinned.

"Well if it isn't the lady of the night." Sirius seemingly came out of nowhere, grinning like an idiot and slinging his arm around my shoulder. "Looking hot _and_ doing shots? Who are you and what have you done with Alex?"

I rolled my eyes and shook my head.

"Oh, there's the Alex we know and love," Sirius stated. "She'll have another!" he called to the bar elf. He handed me the drink and stared me down until I worked up the courage to drink it. "Good," he chuckled. "Another!" he called.

"Sirius, I do not need another," I said as seriously as I could.

"That statement in itself proves you wrong. Just one more." He handed me the shot, and I obediently gulped it. "There. Let's go dance," he grinned, pulling me out onto the floor and leaving Mary to her own devices (which wasn't too bad, considering the fact that she seemed to have gotten involved in a crazy drinking game with a really attractive Ravenclaw).

Somewhere between the bar and the dance floor my feet went numb, either from the shoes or the alcohol—probably both. I tripped multiple times, but Sirius managed to keep me from falling on my face.

"Damn it," I muttered as I tripped again. I yanked the shoes off my feet and chucked them toward the edge of the dance floor a little harder than I meant to. They spiraled up, smacking heels first into—you guessed it—none other than Remus Lupin himself. "Shit," I said, trying my best not to start laughing.

"Nice one." Sirius smacked my shoulder. "Now go see if he's okay!" he yelled at me, pushing me forward and sending me laughing and stumbling in Remus's general direction.

"Remus!" I shouted, still laughing. "I'm sorry!" I didn't sound it, and I laughed again. "Are—" giggle "—are you hurt?"

"Alex, I'm over here," Remus said, grabbing my hands and turning me away from the boy I thought had been Remus. "Are you—are you drunk?"

I burst out laughing as a response.

"Alex," Remus said seriously. I stopped laughing and stared at him plainly, which was hard, because his head was now traveling clockwise around my vision. "Alex," Remus said again, steadying my head with his hands. "How much have you had?"

I giggled again and held up four fingers. At least I thought it was four. If only they'd stop… moving… long enough for me to count them.

"First time?" he sighed.

I looked indignantly at him for a second, then giggled again and nodded. "I've never had an excuse before!" I said excitedly.

"Right," Remus smiled sympathetically.

"And don't pretend you're not drunk," I pointed accusingly, but laughed again and ruined it.

"I'm not."

"You should be. Here!" I grabbed a glass out of some girl's hand and handed it to him.

"I'll get my own, thanks," he laughed confusedly, gently leading me the short distance to the bar and ordering a drink for himself. He drank it quickly, then turned to me and said, "There. Happy now?"

I nodded.

"Let's get some air."

"Nooooo," I whined. "Let's dance!"

Remus looked at me like he felt too bad for me to contradict me. He eventually nodded, and I pulled him to the dance floor. For the first song, Remus just stood there and laughed while I danced around him like a lunatic, taking his hands and trying to make him dance, but eventually he joined my antics and we danced like idiots together.

Then Sirius's voice, only maybe five times as loud, seemed to come out of nowhere. "Alright everyone," the disembodied voice said. "Let's slow things down for all you lovebirds out there. I wanna see all you couples out on that floor!" Cheers went up and kissing noises were made as almost everyone in the room scrambled to find a partner.

Remus and I looked at each other— Remus chuckled and shook his head, but he pulled me in close to him anyways, one hand on the small of my back and the other holding my hand. I smiled to myself and let my head rest on his chest. My eyes drifted closed, and I tried to commit every bit of this moment to memory. And when the song ended, he didn't pull away, and we stayed like that for what seemed like forever.

Until I had the thought that, if this moment was so perfect, what else could he want? Why was I not good enough for him in Hogsmeade? What should I have done differently? My fogged brain became overloaded, and tears slipped down my cheeks. And they didn't stop. I was still dancing with Remus, full out crying into his chest.

And then he noticed. "Hey," he whispered, just loud enough for me to hear. "What's wrong?"

I sniffed, but my throat was entirely closed off.

"Here, come on," he said, leading me to the exit and into the corridor. "In here." He lead me into an empty classroom and shut the door. He sat me down in a desk chair and knelt down next to me. "What's wrong?" he asked.

I sniffed again, but this time managed to get words out. "It's just—it's just that—I've done so much, and I still—I still don't feel good enough."

"Good enough? Alex, for what? For—" his eyes widened "Oh."

I nodded, still crying, and slid off the chair and onto the floor.

"Don't say that. Don't say you're not good enough," he whispered, sliding next to me and wrapping me in a hug. "You're beautiful and smart and funny, and any guy would be lucky to have you."

"Then how come you don't want me?" I breathed, fresh tears rolling down my cheeks.

"That's not it," he said into my hair. "That's not it at all."

"Then—" I started, but he cut me off.

"Alex," he said slowly, but forcefully. "I'm not—" he took a deep breath "—I'm not right for you."

"That's not—" I tried to start, but Remus cut me off again.

"No, let me finish. I don't want you to get hurt. Not by me, not by anyone. Ever. You have to stay away from me."

"You can't hurt me," I whispered.

"You don't know what I'm capable of." His voice broke. I could feel the hate he felt for himself. And my heart broke for him.

"You don't know what _I'm_ capable of," I whispered back, turning to look him in the eyes. His eyes were so beautiful—so warm and kind—so grateful to me in that moment— that I couldn't help myself. I kissed him. And this time, he didn't pull away.

And I couldn't help but think, that right there, in that exact moment in time, I'd gotten what I'd wished for.

****A/N: Do you think ten pages was enough? I got so carried away writing this—I couldn't stop for anything. There was just so much I wanted to happen! I think I got it all in, don't you? Next chapter's a good one, too. At least I think it will be. It'll be intense. I hope. Guess we'll find out. Alex doesn't cry too much, does she? I mean she's held it in for seventeen years… Anyways. Remus still doesn't know the whole truth about Alex! He's gotta find out sometime, right? So stick around. Even review if you're feelin' it. Especially if you liked the kiss. And if you want to know what happens next. And if you want the next chapter pushed to the top of my priorities list. AHHH okay. It's in your hands now.****


	17. Chapter 17

Chapter Seventeen:

I woke up on the floor of a dark room, groggy, sore, and disoriented. I fought hard to remember where I was, which was immensely difficult to do with my brain profusely pounding against my skull. Party, drinks, dancing, Remus. Right. I didn't remember ever returning to the common room, meaning I was probably in that same empty classroom. If I remembered correctly, Remus should be here somewhere too: I squinted as my eyes tried to focus in the pitch blackness. Yep, he was there alright. Part of me was glad he hadn't left me alone here. Then again it would probably be easier if he had—I wouldn't have to worry about rumors of Remus and me sleeping together on the floor of a classroom in the event of someone walking in on us, I wouldn't have to explain anything (besides the fact that I was passed out on a classroom floor) to anyone, and Remus and I would be a lot less complicated. I think.

But I didn't want to be the one to leave him alone on the floor. I assessed my options. I could leave and look like a bitch. Nope. I could caringly cover him with a blanket like I was tucking him in… again, no. I could levitate him back to Gryffindor Tower—yea that was plausible. I looked around for my wand, which in the dark, looked nonexistent. I realized I had left it in my dormitory. So no to that plan. I could carry Remus back to the Tower… yea not enough arm strength. I could wake him up. Somehow, this seemed like the best and the worst idea of all of them. So of course I went with it.

"Remus," I nearly whispered, shaking his shoulder gently. He didn't move. "Remus," I tried again, this time a little louder. Still no movement. "Remus, come on," I coaxed. He groaned and rolled over. Well that was an improvement, I guessed. "Come on, get up!" I said loudly, clapping my hands and standing up.

"Mmmmm," was his reply.

"Come on, give me your hands and I'll help you up," I said, holding out my hands. He lifted up his arms, zombie-like with still closed eyes. I laughed, took his hands, and tried to pull him up. "You've gotta help out a little," I said, head lolled back and all. "I'm not as strong as you seem to think I am."

His eyes drifted wearily open and he attempted to raise a droopy eyebrow at me.

"Let's go," I laughed, pulling him up, wrapping an arm around him, and leading him out the door.

"Where we goin'?" he asked.

"Bed," I replied.

He stopped walking and looked at me, his eyebrow up again.

I rolled my eyes. "Separate beds," I clarified.

He smiled, and because he was still half asleep, his grin was even more lopsided than usual. I smiled and shook my head, then continued navigating our way back to the portrait of the Fat Lady. Well, navigating might be a bit generous. It was more like stumbling along with Remus occasionally whispering directions. Overall it took around half an hour to get back, and when we did, well you can just imagine how thrilled the Fat Lady was to let us in.

I wasn't as surprised as I should have been to see all the Gryffindors who had managed to make it as far as the common room but not to their dormitories, instead passing out on a couch or the common room floor. And I should have been more surprised when Remus made his way over to a couch (empty only because it's previous occupant had flopped onto the floor at some point during the night) and joined the crowd. I made no effort to stop him—it would have been fruitless anyhow, considering he was out within the minute—and just shrugged and stumbled up the stairs to my own bed.

*What You Wish For*

I woke up with the sun on my face and the dormitory mostly empty. My headache had subsided significantly, but I could still feel it a bit. I stretched out and rolled over to look at the clock. 11am. Thank Merlin it was Saturday—I could still get breakfast in the Great Hall.

I rolled out of bed and wandered into the bathroom, where it occurred to me that not only did I neglect to change out of my party clothes but I didn't brush my teeth or wash any of the makeup off my face either. I set to work removing the black smudges of mascara from my forehead, cheeks, eyes, etc. before giving up with the spot treatment and just scrubbing my face as hard as I could. My face seemed to be clean then, but I still wasn't sure of how good of a job I'd done, so I decided to shower, which I probably needed to do in the first place. After my shower, I brushed the nasty taste out of my mouth before dressing and tossing my still wet hair into a messy bun.

I made it down the stairs without seeing another living soul—they were all probably asleep or eating. The common room, on the other hand, looked similar to how it had last night. I noticed Remus was no longer on the couch and that Mary had taken his place.

"Hey Mare," I said to her, tapping her arm. "I'm going down to breakfast, want anything?"

"EH," she replied, taking the couch pillow from under her head and smushing it against her face.

"Two eggs, a biscuit, and bacon it is then," I said, knowing she probably would need something.

She slid the pillow slowly off her face and groggily said, "Alex, you beautiful person."

"You're welcome," I chuckled as I walked away and ducked out of the portrait hole.

The Great Hall was filled with tired, half asleep people, eager younger years desperate to hear about the party, and grumbling yet perfectly awake Slytherins. I meandered over to the Gryffindor table, looking for anyone I knew, essentially meaning Remus or Sirius. They weren't in their usual spots, but I caught sight of them towards the end of the table and made my way over.

"Damn, Moony, I forgot," Sirius was saying. "I wondered why you didn't drink as much. And left early, for Merlin's sake! I should've guessed you were—"

"Hey guys," I interrupted, blushing crimson and not wanting to hear Sirius finish that sentence.

"Alex!" Sirius grinned and pulled me into the seat next to him. "Great party last night," he winked.

"Are you kidding?" I laughed. "You did all the work!"

"And you're taking all the credit!" he said cheerily, stuffing some toast into his mouth. "Don't look a gift horse in the mouth, Alex."

I smiled and shook my head. "You're impossible."

"And you're a terrific party thrower," he retorted.

I punched him in the arm, and he grinned widely at me.

I began filling up my plate with an enormous amount of food—and I mean enormous. I don't think I'd ever wanted to eat as much as I did right then.

Just as I had happily started cramming my mouth with food, a Hufflepuff—I think he was a sixth year?—came up behind us and patted me on the back. "Great party Alex," he said. "Let me know when you throw another one."

I waited for him to walk away before I turned on Sirius and, mouth full and all, said, "You so told him to say that to me."

Sirius burst out laughing. "Nope! Not at all!"

I rolled my eyes before punching him again.

"Ow!" he cried. "Stop with the violence!"

I swallowed before making a face and sticking my tongue out at Sirius. Remus chuckled at this, causing me to blush and look back at my plate.

James and Peter picked this moment to join us.

"Morning guys, Alex," James said cheerily. "Man, we threw a great party last night," he said, sitting down and stretching his arms out behind him.

"See?" I cried. "He's got it right! We!" I shouted at Sirius.

Sirius chuckled and shook his head. "And you think _I'm_ impossible."

"Yes," I said. "I do." I finished the last of the food on my plate before taking another from the stack and placing Mary's eggs, bacon, and biscuit on it.

"You know you can use the same plate for seconds, right?" Sirius joked.

"Yea but this isn't for me so," I stuck my tongue out to end that sentence. I chuckled and stood up. "I've got to go take care of Mary," I said, "but I'll see you guys later." My eyes lingered on Remus for just a second too long, and I forced myself not to look down and blush. So I just smiled and left to take care of my very hung-over friend.

****A/N: Well this was not the chapter I intended to write… I know it's not as good as I promised, but I figured that **_**that**_** chapter needed something to lead into it. It'll come. Also, I'm insanely sorry for not updating in a while. Life took over, and I wrote a completely different chapter last week but then shutdown my computer without saving it. So sorry about all of that. But there's a bunch of school breaks and such coming up so you won't be left stranded, I promise. Let me know what you thought, I guess, and I'll get on writing Chapter Eighteen!****


	18. Chapter 18

****A/N: Wow so sorry about the lack of updates recently… Thank you still for sticking with this story and not giving up hope simply because of the authoress's insanity and inability to find time to write. Special thanks to geekchic8428 for being my 100****th**** review! Extra special thanks to NightHawk97 who was not only the 99****th**** review but the most enthusiastic and supportive fan I could ask for. Now without further ado, I give you more Alex and Remus and the fun things that come with them. Enjoy!****

Chapter Eighteen:

I leaned closer to the window and tried to take advantage of the last bit of light before the sun sunk below the horizon. I knew that I wouldn't be able to read much longer, yet I still had no desire to return the common room considering the staggering amount of Gryffindors that were still asleep on the floor or stumbling around grumbling for hangover tonic. I realized that as a witch I could use my wand for light, but I hadn't bothered to look for it yet. It was probably in the dormitory somewhere. After giving Mary her breakfast, I had completely abandoned Gryffindor Tower with no intention of returning. I went to the library, took out a random muggle novel, and found a nice comfy window seat.

The book wasn't particularly interesting, but it was something to do. Sure I had a sizable amount of homework to do, but all my books were in the tower and not only did I not feel like doing actual work but there was no way I was venturing in there to get some books.

I adjusted myself and held the book closer to the window as the sun continued to sink lower. I frantically tried to finish the book—I only had a few more pages left anyhow—before the light was gone. I had made it to the last page when the sun disappeared behind the horizon. I strained to finish, then gave up and skimmed the last paragraph, finally snapping the book shut. I sighed and stood up, tossing the book on the seat (not filing it away on its proper shelf, which I'm sure I'll be crucified for eventually) before walking out of the library.

I contemplated returning to Gryffindor Tower—it was dinner time after all, and most people would probably be in the Great Hall—and thought about going to dinner, but neither offered anything I wanted (for whatever reason I hadn't been hungry since breakfast) and both offered things I didn't: noise, potential human interaction, weird smells. So I decided to wander the castle. Naturally.

I meandered through corridors, going up and down stairs, letting them take me wherever. After a while I sort of lost where I was, partly because I was lost in my own head as well. At least until a bit of yelling brought me back.

"I KNOW YOU'RE GUILTY! YOU'LL BE PUNISHED FOR THIS!" someone who sounded suspiciously like Filch roared.

"You can't punish us for something you can't prove we did," I heard Sirius respond angrily, his voice sounding urgent and harsh.

"I'LL FIND A WAY!" Filch shouted. I crept to where the corridor where Filch was and the corridor where I was intersected and peered around the corner to see Filch's back, a frantic looking Peter, an angry Sirius, and a nervous James.

"Look, Mr. Filch," Potter began, trying to charm the old caretaker. "We know we have to pay for what we've done—"

"But we haven't done anything!" Sirius tried to protest, earning himself a sharp elbow from James.

"We promise we'll take whatever punishment you'll give us," Sirius and Peter both looked panicked and shocked at James, "but tomorrow. There's someplace we really have to be—"

"Not so fast," Filch cut him off. "What makes you think I'd let you go so easily? You just as good as confessed to cursing my door to smell like dungbomb, and you won't get away with it. We're going to Dumbledore with this, we are." With that, Filch grabbed Sirius in a sort of choke hold (causing him to swear and writhe angrily, but Filch held onto him Merlin only knows how) and Peter by the back of the neck with one hand, grabbing James's ear with the other.

I stepped into the corridor prepared to yell at Filch, maybe distract him, maybe offer a fake confession.

James, who was twisted around in Filch's grasp, caught my eye as the caretaker started to drag all three of them down the hall. Panicked, he mouthed, "REMUS," then glanced at the window. I followed his gaze and understood—the moon was full.

"Prongs, we're getting out of this on three," Sirius choked out, causing Filch to tighten his grip.

"Alex has it," James grunted, "for now. We'll come when we can!" he called out, half for me, half for Sirius.

I nodded, eyes wide, and took off running. I didn't quite know where I was going, but I sprinted toward the Entrance Hall—it seemed like the most likely place for a weak, potentially half-werewolf Remus to be.

"Remus!" I shouted as I skidded into the atrium, looking frantically around. He wasn't there. I panicked before realizing that the massive oak door wasn't closed all the way: It was open just wide enough for a person to slip out of the castle. I breathed a small sigh of relief before running to the door and sliding through it, yanking it shut when I was through.

"Remus!" I called again. Still no answer. I squinted through the darkness and finally saw what looked like his collapsed figure about fifty meters from the Whomping Willow. I took off running towards him.

I skidded to a stop as I reached him and crouched down next to him. He was still in human form, but he was shaking terribly.

"Alex," he croaked. "Go."

"Not a chance." I shook my head. "Come on, let's get you to this tree." I could only assume that was where we were headed—that's where I had seen Sirius take Remus however long ago. I helped Remus halfway to his feet and tried to half-drag, half-carry him still mostly doubled over to the tree.

"Alex," Remus whispered, clearly in pain. Just as he spoke, a huge limb from the tree swung at us. I dropped to the ground, and Remus sort of fell over, but we both managed to avoid the branch.

"GODDAMNIT!" I screamed at the tree, propping myself on my elbows and knees, trying to crawl towards the trunk. "CAN'T YOU JUST CUT US A BREAK AND LET US THROUGH!?"

The tree wound up and swung again, forcing me to roll onto my back to avoid it.

"I'll take that as a no," I grumbled bitterly. I flipped back onto my stomach and looked around for Remus. He had somehow managed to crawl to the base of the tree, and I army-crawled as fast as I could toward him.

"Remus!" I cried as I watched him, still shaking, tumble into a gap between the roots. "Shit," I muttered, making my way over to it and diving after him.

I toppled head over heels down a dirt-coated hole, landing hard on my back at the bottom. I fought to catch my breath for a moment before frantically searching for Remus. He was lying on his side, shaking, his eyes wide and glassy.

"Come on," I whispered more to myself than to him as I dragged him through the passage ahead of us. I thanked Merlin that it wasn't as long as it looked when, after an excruciating few minutes, Remus, my screaming muscles, and I all fell into a room at the end of the passage.

I stared at the ceiling for a moment, dazed, before Remus groaned. I dragged myself over to him and pushed myself up onto my knees, placing his head in my lap.

"Shhh, Remus," I whispered, brushing his hair off his forehead. "You're going to be fine."

He gulped, then cried out, his back arching and his limbs convulsing inwards. Startled and scared out of my mind, I threw myself backwards. I heard his bones crunch as he turned to his wolf form.

"Shit," I muttered. I closed my eyes tight and turned my head away, trying not hear any of the sounds of his transformation. Then I did the only thing left that I could think of—I remembered the burning sensation in my chest and gritted my teeth, feeling my own bones shift to a more feline position.

I opened my eyes, the world now slightly tinged yellow, to see Remus in full wolf form staring me in the eye, his face inches from mine. I blinked but didn't move. I was vaguely aware of my tail swishing back and forth behind me. He stared at me for what seemed like forever before snorting and turning away. He sauntered over to the empty fireplace, circled on the rug like a dog would, and lied down, putting his head on his paws.

I didn't move—I sat stationary, watching him (a fact he was keenly aware of and kept glancing up at me to check if I'd stopped). I felt calmer and more patient, like I could sit here forever and not be bothered. Maybe I liked being a panther.

My ears twitched as my more acute senses picked up the sounds of someone in the tunnel. Or more likely, many someones. Remus heard them too, and he got to his feet and began to growl at the door. My eyes flicked from Remus to the door, and I watched as a dog—Sirius I assumed—leaped through the opening. A large male deer ducked in behind, and a rat scurried into the room. James and Peter. I was pretty confident that I knew which one was which.

Remus recognized the familiar animals also and stopped growling. He walked over to Sirius and nudged him playfully, and Sirius returned the gesture. Eventually the both of them lied down.

I watched carefully as each of the Marauders seemed to drift off to sleep. Remus first, then Sirius next to him, then Peter, who had situated himself on top of Sirius, and finally James, who remained standing.

I knew that I could fall asleep too, if I wanted, but I didn't. I watched and waited for something to go wrong, but it never did. I waited until I could see the little room we were in lighten from the sunrise, when Sirius woke up. He noticed me watching him and gave me a small nod. I returned the gesture, then stood and made my way to the opening. I gracefully leaped through it before testing my feline abilities and sprinting all the way back to the castle.


	19. Chapter 19

Chapter Nineteen:

I had managed to get about three and a half hours of sleep before deciding to get up and go for breakfast. I wasn't as tired as I should have been and had no idea why. Maybe cat form needed less energy; that seemed doubtful. If anything it should need more—maybe that's why I was more starving than I'd ever been (and that includes hangover day). Maybe I was still running on adrenaline; again, doubtful. I don't even think that was possible. Maybe I was just peaceful. Gah I don't know—I can't explain my lack of tiredness.

I showered quickly, dressed, and made my way to the common room, which, at the moment was quiet and empty, save for Remus, who was pacing back and forth. I couldn't figure out why he wasn't in the hospital wing, where he usually seemed to be after a transformation. As he turned on his heel to continue his pattern, he caught sight of me and stopped.

"Alex…" he said, his voice trailing off. There was something in his eyes—a cross between pain and guilt—that made me want to cry.

I didn't know if last night changed anything or even if he remembered any of it. I wasn't sure how to react or what to say, so I stood there in silence. He came closer to me and opened his mouth to speak a few times, but no words came out. I waited patiently for him to figure out what to say.

"Alex, I don't—I don't know—no one's filled me in, and all I can remember…" he trailed off again, his gaze drifting downward, his brow slightly furrowed.

"Why aren't you in the hospital wing?" I asked quietly.

Remus's eyes came back and met mine. "That's just it. My—I just—I don't—" he stopped and rubbed his brow. "You were there," he said finally. "Do you—do you know? About me?"

I nodded. "I thought Sirius would have told you," I said.

Remus didn't seem to pay any attention to my last comment. "You were there, though. How were you there? Did you see—"

"Remus," I cut him off. "I was there. I saw you… transform."

His expression changed as concern flashed across his face. "Did I… hurt you?"

I shook my head. "No, you didn't."

"How?"

"I'm stronger than you seem to think I am," I said.

"_How_?" he repeated.

I paused, and it was my turn to look away. It seemed as if I had to tell him- now was as good a time as any, I guessed. "Remus," I began slowly, drawing in a deep breath. "I'm an animagus."

He looked as if he'd never heard the word before. "You're a what?"

"An animagus," I repeated.

He was silent. I couldn't read his expression- I shouldn't have told him. I wished I could take the words back, but there was no way I could. I'd thought this would go better- I'd thought- I didn't know. So for lack of knowing what to do next I turned and walked away, running a hand through my hair. I ducked out the portrait hole and headed down to breakfast, leaving Remus still standing there alone in the middle of the room.

I entered the Great Hall and looked around for Sirius. I saw Mary sitting at the Gryffindor table with a group of friends; I was acutely aware of their eyes following me as I walked by.

"Hey Alex," she said as I passed.

I gave her a wave and a small smile. Her friends continued to stare. One of them asked in a tone she seemed to think was discreet, "What's up with her and Remus?"

"What's she like?" another said.

"She hangs with the Marauders and throws good parties," one of them continued.

"But she's so… shy," the first one pitched in. "What do they see in her?"

Mary didn't respond to any of them. Instead she just looked absently at her food, like she couldn't decide whether to feel bad for me, stick up for me, or answer the questions seriously.

I walked to the end of the table and sat myself next to a more somber Sirius. He seemed tired and more… heavy. He glanced at me as I sat down, taking in my expression in an instant.

"You've told him then?" he asked.

I nodded.

"Good. It was time."

"I know." I sighed.

"How'd he take it?" Sirius asked.

I shrugged.

"Let me guess. You ran off before he could respond."

I smiled guiltily, "Maybe."

Sirius shook his head, then glanced up at the doors to the Great Hall. "Well he seems to have taken it rather well."

I followed his gaze and saw Remus standing in the threshold, looking at me. From across the room, I saw the corner of his mouth pull up into a small smile. I blushed and returned the smile, and he made his way over to us, sitting next to me.

"Hey," he said softly.

"Hey," I replied.

Wrapping his arm around me, he pulled me close to him and whispered into my hair, "Do me a favor and don't do anything as stupid as becoming an illegal animagus for me ever again."

"It's sort of a onetime deal, you know. I can't exactly life-changingly alter myself like that a second time," I smirked, pulling away to look him in the eye.

"It was reckless," he continued in his quiet tone, his eyes still smiling.

"But you can't change it," I shrugged innocently.

He pulled me in close again. "I know."

A sudden commotion erupted at the other end of the table.

"What, so you think you determine who should and shouldn't be popular?" I heard Mary shout. She stood up abruptly, throwing the bench backward with the force of her knees snapping up and slamming her hands on the table. "Just because you have this high opinion of yourself you think you should be what, fucking queen or something?"

Mary's tirade seemed to be directed at one of the girls, while the rest sat smugly with their arms crossed, as if they were trying to persecute her with their stares.

"Oh, the rest of you are no better!" Mary shouted, turning on the rest of the girls as well. The whole hall now seemed to turn to watch the scene.

"You're all stuck up and full of yourselves, and quite frankly I'd rather spend time with her than you any day," she nearly growled before spinning on her heel and marching away from them.

I blushed and stared at my plate. I had a pretty good idea that the conversation had been about me.

"Hey, Alex," I heard Mary say quietly behind me. "Sorry you had to hear all that."

I turned in my seat to face her. "Don't be sorry," I told her with a small smile. "Here, sit down." I slid over to make room for her between Sirius and me.

She sat down, and for a while none of us said anything.

Finally I broke the silence. "Thanks for sticking up for me," I said softly.

"Anytime," she said almost sympathetically.

"I'm sorry you had to fight with your friends about it," I told her.

She stared at me blankly for a moment, completely in shock. She quickly recovered and said, "They are not my friends." She paused before saying, "Not anymore."

We all sat briefly through another awkward silence.

"Well," Sirius piped up, "any friend of Alex's is a friend of mine." He smiled at her like that was that, all traces of his earlier mood gone. He stood and continued, "Now I believe homework can wait a bit—who wants to play wizard chess?"


	20. Chapter 20

****A/N: Oops (*sheepishly hides smile and covers face with hands*). Remember when I said this'd be done by summer… That was false. Oops. So, uh, hope you welcome me back into the realm with something other than pitchforks and torches? But I mean I can't blame you… Anyways, enjoy…****

Chapter Twenty

"James, come on. It's been your turn for ages," Lily complained sarcastically, rolling her eyes and smirking at the Head Boy.

He held up a hand. "Perfection takes time," he said seriously. He finally decided which piece he wanted to move, and commanded his knight to take her rook. They were the last two in our wizard chess tournament (which the Marauders took quite seriously), and this final game had to be the most exciting (if you could describe chess in that way) yet. We had even split to cheer on the competitors—Sirius, Peter and Remus cheered for James, while Mary and I egged on Lily. The whole ordeal had become quite the event.

Lily smirked—James had apparently fallen into her trap—and began her systematic destruction of her opponent's pieces. We all watched intently as James tried to salvage the game, and Mary and I cheered when Lily finally declared, "Check mate."

Money exchanged hands—Sirius grumbled as he grudgingly handed over two sickles to Peter, who was grinning smugly. James grumbled something about not believing his friend would bet against him.

"This was fun," Mary smiled. "More fun than I've had in ages, actually."

"Good," Sirius responded. "You should hang around us more often."

Mary gave him a nod. "So what now?" she asked the group.

"We could have a snack," Peter suggested. Sirius nodded in agreement.

"I was actually going to start that Transfiguration essay," I said almost guiltily.

"Oh Alex, this is no time for homework," Sirius chided.

"No I was actually about to say the same thing. Mind if we work together?" Remus asked.

I nodded.

"And I was going to see if Lily wanted to go for a walk?" James seemed to ask all of us at first before turning to direct his question at the redhead.

"I guess it wouldn't hurt, Potter," she said, her smile more enthusiastic than her words. James grinned broadly and led her out of the common room.

"I'll go grab my books," I said to Remus, gesturing upstairs.

"Guess that leaves us then," Sirius said to Mary and Peter. "Come on, let's go to the kitchens." He held his arms out to both of them and let them out, smirking at me and giving me a wink. I blushed, then ran to grab my books.

Remus was already on the sofa, his books open and his pen scribbling away, by the time I made it back to the common room. I sat down next to him and took out my books.

"So, Transfiguration…" I awkwardly chuckled, trying to start a conversation. He smirked but kept writing. I glanced at him, then tried to skim the reading we were supposed to be writing about. I wrote a few disjointed sentences before stopping. I put my books on the table and set my quill on top of them.

"I'm sorry I didn't tell you sooner—you know—about the animagus thing." I wrung my hands nervously.

He set his books down next to mine. "Alex," he grabbed my hands. "I'm not sorry that you did it, though. This is right up there at the top of the list of crazy things my friends have done for me."

"Hey, that's what friends are for," I said lightly. I didn't realize what it came off sounding like until I'd said it. "I'm not trying to say that we're only friends," I started rambling, "or that that's all we'll be or anything like that—"

"Alex—"

"—but I just mean that you've been great to me so far and I've been so much happier—"

"Alex—"

"—with you than I've ever been and I know that what I did was crazy but I did it because I care about you—"

"Alex—"

"—and I love that we've built this relationship and I love—"

"Alex," he said more forcefully, taking hold of my head and forcing me to look at him.

"—you," I finished, shocked and startled and quite sure I didn't want that to come out of my mouth.

"Thank you," he said, putting his forehead to mine. "Becoming an animagus was reckless and stupid, but thank you."

I stared at him, not sure what I had expected him to say. I pulled my head back, and Remus dropped his hands. I looked down at my own hands. "It wasn't just for you, you know," I said quietly. "I mean you were part of it, but I did this for me too."

He let the words sink in for a bit before replying. "Good," he said finally, putting his hand on mine. "I wouldn't have wanted it any other way."

I looked up at him, my whole face smiling. He reached out to brush away a piece of hair from my face, and I leaned in a bit, and he leaned in a bit, and we both leaned in a little bit too hard and ended up sort of crashing in for a kiss. I felt his lips twinge into a smile, but neither of us pulled away. He held my face in one hand, and his other hand found my waist. In the midst of it all I let out a small, very high-pitched, uncomfortably girlish, giggle.

"What?" Remus asked, his face still incredibly close to mine.

"Nothing," I blushed. "It's just—" I shrugged "—it's been a long time coming."

Remus smiled and pulled me closer, and we sort of fell back against the sofa to a more horizontal state.

I wasn't sure how long we'd been like that before I heard the portrait hole swing open, and footsteps made their way into the common room.

"Well, well, well," Sirius's voice interrupted us, paired with the sound of him clapping his hands round-of-applause-style. "It is about time, you two!" he said, enunciating every syllable.

Remus and I stopped, looked at each other, then sat up and looked at him, both of us flushed with a mix of embarrassment and what might have been pride?

"Well don't stop on my account, by all means," Sirius continued with a wave of his hand. He had started to walk away when he stopped and said, "Oh and Peter and Mary might be back soon. Can you believe she picked him over me?" he shook his head. "Pity." He shoved his hands in his pockets and made his way upstairs to the boys' dorms.

Remus and I burst into a fit of laughter, followed by a few brief kisses, followed by me being a stupid killjoy. "We should actually do this Transfiguration," I stupidly suggested. "I mean it is for tomorrow."

Remus gave me this crooked smile attached to this look that clearly said 'Really? Now?'

"Okay," he finally said, picking up his books and quill again.

"It'll go faster if you help me," I said in the most cute manner I figured I was capable of accomplishing, putting my elbows on my knees and my chin on my hands and looking up through my eyelashes.

I reckon it was either quite cute or really strange looking, because Remus laughed out loud at me before handing me my books and saying, "Of course."

*What You Wish For*

We managed to finish just before dinner, which was good, considering I was back to my usual state of constant hunger. Even Remus wasn't enough of a distraction to come between me and food. Though the thought of us eating dinner as a—couple? Friends with benefits? Whatever we were—posed a few questions.

"Remus, what are we going to do at dinner?" I asked.

"Um, eat? Most likely," he laughed like I'd just asked him the dumbest question ever. Which honestly I sort of had.

"No, I mean what are people going to think about, you know, us? What even is…us?" I decided I no longer had any idea where this conversation was going or why I started it in the first place. "That didn't sound right—" I backtracked "—I just mean that we both like each other, clearly, and I just—I don't—I don't know…" I trailed off.

"Well maybe people shouldn't worry so much about what other people do with their lives," Remus smirked.

"Yea, but this is Hogwarts. All people do is worry about what other people are doing with their lives," I retorted.

"True, but that doesn't mean we should care if they worry or not." He took a step closer to me and laced his fingers through mine. "As for the second question, what do you think we are?"

I paused, not entirely sure how to answer. I mean by this point I should have known exactly what to say, right? I looked down as I thought. "Well, I think that our friendship has been important in getting us to where we are," I said rationally, meeting his eyes. "But I think we've been through things normal couples don't exactly think about."

"This is true," Remus chimed in.

"I don't know," I blushed, an awkward smile on my face, and looked over his shoulder. "I mean if you wanted to go on dates and things that most likely would not be bad," I said, still smiling awkwardly.

"You're right," he grinned playfully. "That most likely would not be bad."

I blushed and tried to pout through a smile.

He laughed and kissed my forehead. "Well then in that case, Alex, will you go on dates with me?"

I laughed, still blushing. "I think I would like to go on dates with you," I said.

"Good." He put his forehead to mine. "Now that it's established that we are officially going on dates, can we go to dinner?"

I smiled up at him. "Only if it's a date."

He chuckled, but he escorted me out of the common room in a very date-like fashion. Even held the portrait open for me.

****A/N: Oh dear I really hope you liked it! I won't even beg for reviews because I've been so horrible for not updating this so I just hope that no one spontaneously combusts while reading this. It's been fun!****


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